When You Officially Enter The Fuddy-Duddy Stage of Life

DOWN HOME with Granny B
I got in a car accident a while back. After I stopped at that stop sign, looked right and left then pulled forward, I had no idea how that red car appeared out of nowhere. Like magic - poof! There it was. Crunch.
I... am an insurance company’s worst nightmare. I immediately pulled my van off the road, raced to the other vehicle, made sure she was alright, hugged her told her I was sorry for ruining her car and her day.
I think I’ve officially entered my fuddy-duddy stage. I can see through my glasses pretty well straight ahead, but they don’t work so well when I look right or left. I guess what I really need is wrap around glasses so I can see on the sides of my life.
Someone once said to me, “Be nice to old fuddy-duddies on the road. You will become one of them sooner than you think.” Boy, were they right. When I looked around me at my 40th high school reunion, I wondered how all those kids got looking so old so fast. Then I realized I was one of them.
I don’t like to complain about getting older. I mean the only alternative is dying young. I’ve always been happy to tell everybody how old I am on my birthday because if I wasn’t that old, I’d be dead. I have also learned not to take life too seriously because we’ll never get out of here alive.
They say that the joy of life is the ride. What they don’t say is that while you’re on that ride you’re going to get in some accidents right after you change your insurance from comprehensive to liability because you’ve never been in an accident before and you’re tired of paying those premiums. Then . . . wham! You wreck your car, someone else’s car and your pride. There you are minding your own business and suddenly you cause an accident, get handed a FTY citation and still have to pay to get your car fixed on your own dime. Then you have to attend traffic school if you don’t want the bad driver points on your record.
Well, I refuse to be intimidated or humiliated by reality. The real miracle is that I’ve never been in an accident before when I’ve been in so many near misses – my fault or their fault. The real miracle is that no one got hurt. I think we add years to our life and life to our years when we stop a hardening of our attitudes. We don’t have to wonder, “Why me?” “Why now?” The real question is, “Why not me?” “Why not now?” Bad things happen to everybody. Some times it’s our fault and sometimes it’s the other guy’s fault. We don’t have to spend the rest of our life feeling picked on. That’s life.
After the accident, the auto body guy said it wasn’t worth the money to fix our old van. It would cost more to fix it than the vehicle was worth. But I fixed it anyway. I don’t think you have to give up on cars or people and send them to the junk yard just because they get a little older or a little banged up. I’m just not ready to let go of my old van . . . my sense of humor . . . or my love of life.

DOWN HOME with Granny B . . . Choose Laughter

DOWN HOME with Granny B
When you're a grandma you know that most of the things you worried about when you were younger didn't actually happen. You appreciate people who help you see life upside down and inside out. If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright you might want to be. He's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

Here are a few more of his gems:

... 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?


One of my favorite people Marjorie Hinckley once said, "I'd rather laugh than cry because crying gives me a headache."

So if you're having a hard day, choose laughter.

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Oh Grandma!

DOWN HOME WITH GRANNY B
In my younger days I used to have what I now lovingly refer to as grandma envy. I figured the life of a grandma was a piece of cake. I mean as soon as the baby needs a diaper change or starts to cry, you hand them ba...ck to mom . . . right? When your grown children ask you to do something you don't want to do all you have to do is tell them you are too busy darning your false teeth and flossing your socks . . . right?

Well now that I am a grandma I realize that life on the other side of the hill is not quite the way I had it figured. One day my precious little granddaughter approached me with the dearest little outstretched arms. Then she looked up at me, smiled and sweetly said, "I like my other grandma better because she buys me more presents."

When I was younger I planned to spend my mature years eating icecream for breakfast, wearing sweat pants and taking a nap whether I felt like it or not. You see life always looks greener on the other side of parenthood - but the fact is . . . problems don't go away . . . they simply change . . . into new problems.

I like what George Burns said, "With a positive attitude and a little bit of luck, there's no reason you can't live to be a hundred. Once you've done that, you've really got it made, because very few people die over a hundred."

My friend told me about a recent day babysitting her grandson. After the grandson ran into the street right in front of a moving car, she chased him down the road, grabbed him by the hair and frantically yelled, "Don't you ever, ever do that again!"

Bug-eyed, her shaking grandson looked up into her red panting face and replied, 'Oh Grandma! I think you need to take a nap!"

So hang in there all your frazzled parents. Some day you will have silver in your hair, gold in your teeth and lead in your pants . . . and that is what a rich life is all about.

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Woman Oh Pause

Granny B . . . what is on your mind today?

"Well, for one thing it has always bothered me that menopause isn’t called womanopause. I mean who’s doing the pausing here? I’ve heard about all the hot flashes, night sweats and mood changes that accompany the loss of fertility. Why doesn’t anybody talk about the pause part? I think pause should mean – pause - stop and ponder.
Growing older is not what I expected. I mean I used to think old people were old people. We’re not. Older people are just regular people in old bodies. We stay pretty much the same inside as the years go by but the body goes south. Life is so much shorter than I thought it would be. I think we’re more likely to learn something along the way if we take the time to contemplate what our experiences have taught us.
Once I was sitting next to Emily Watts at a Deseret Book Time Out for Women. We were both on the program and waiting to speak to a large gathering of women.
“They’ve got me billed as the one who’s giving the mother talk,” I said turning to her. "I’m not comfortable appearing to be some kind of expert. I mean, what to I know? I don’t feel like I really know anything about being a mom.”
“Yes you do,” she answered. “Think about it.”
And so I did.
Thinking about it is the part I’m interested in. By the time we hit our fifties, most of us are inching up on the tail end of the crowded years. For the first half of our life we hurried around like Martha taking care of all the needs in our family and the universe. Now it is time to be more like Mary and choose more carefully the better part. Raising a family is a lot of hard work interspersed with moments of indescribable joy. If we don’t take the time to share our dear and not so dear motherhood experiences, the younger moms coming up through the ranks will think they are alone. When new moms lock arms with old moms we are a formidable force for good and much cheaper than therapy.
We spend the first half of our lives acquiring and accumulating. We spend the last half unloading and thinning out. We come to understand less is more. We spend the first half of our lives wishing everybody would leave us alone so we can get something important done. We spend the last half of our lives trying to get those same people to come back because we realize they are the important part.
Menopause ushers us from a fertile time for our bodies into a fertile time for our minds. We are given our bodies back, though a little wider and sporting a C-section scar or two. Now we’re asked to see what we will do with a seasoned heart. That’s why we’re called grand mothers. We don’t have to give birth any more or be the disciplinarians – just the lovers. That’s what makes grand parenting so grand.
Motherhood follows the same cycle of life as in nature with spring time, summer, autumn and winter – each following the other in an eternal round. Whether we’re starting out or ending up, we all have something valuable to offer each other. We start out feeling like we’re giving up something more important to raise children and end up realizing raising children is the important part. We start out thinking we’re sacrificing our personal development and end up realizing the process of learning to love someone is the ultimate road to personal development. We quite literally find our self when we lose our self. In the end we come to know that everything that matters most is sitting around our kitchen table. And that’s something to pause and think about."

Thank you Granny B. We'll be back to visit with you soon.
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Why I Write

Granny B it looks like you've done a lot of writing over the years. Why do you do that?

Well, let me put it this way. . . I write so I don't go crazy. Most of the time my thoughts are just a jumble in my head. Writing is the way I make sense of this business of being alive.
One of my buddies put it this way . . .
"I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say." Flannery O'Connor

That pretty much covers it for today.

Thanks Granny B. We'll be back soon.
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DOWN HOME with Granny B

Growing Older 

Growing older has been a delightful surprise for me. The way I feel is different than what I thought I'd feel. I pretty much just feel grateful . . . grateful that I'm alive. . . grateful for everything. 

I thought I'd feel old inside when I was old outside. I don't. I feel softer. The experiences I've gone through have made me less quick to judge, less ambitious for material possessions and less inclined to hurry. I've learned to love others for who they are -  not who I want them to be. I've learned the only real wealth is a loving family. And I've learned to listen more carefully to the wisdom of others.

*All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without the benefit of experience (Henry Miller)

*Only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it. (D. H. Lawrence)







*If nothing ever changed there'd be no butterflies. (Unknown)

What Brings Me Joy

Whenever I walk into a room where my granddaughter Emma is playing, her eyes light up, she runs toward me and gives me the biggest hug.  Then she takes my hand and brings me into her world.  Sometimes she teaches me how to bump down the stairs on my backside and sometimes she shows me her newest toy.  She lovingly gives me the masterpieces she has created in crayon but she gives me much more.  It is those eyes . . .  the eyes that light up when I enter the room.  There is no love as pure as a child's love.  Thank you Emma.  You give your Granny B so much joy. 

Remedies for Maternal Guilt



DOWN HOME with Granny B

Most information out there that tells mothers something else we should be doing . . . like we don’t already know that. It helps to remember that real life is hectic and trying to do it all is impossible. We women try to do so much but never give ourselves any credit and or celebrate our efforts. Mothers, in particular, are way too hard on themselves. In fact every mother I know is infected with a dreaded disease called . . . maternal guilt.

Seven deadly maternal guilt symptoms include:

1. No matter how much we have done right, we always focus on what we’ve done wrong.

2. Taking blame for all our children’s poor choices.

3. Believing that we have the power to stop bad things from happening to our families.

4. Thinking we should be able to handle everything.

5. The inability to slow down, do less and learn the fine art of muddling.

6. Never feeling good enough, smart enough, thin enough, or attractive enough.

7. Placing our health and well-being on the bottom of our things-to-do list.

Remedies for Maternal Guilt:

Celebrate who you are right now at every stage and age of motherhood by awarding yourself with one of these mother school degrees:

A.O.A. Associates of Amateurism We earn this degree when we stop feeling sorry for ourselves.

B.O.B Bachelor of Blunders We earn this degree when we stop being SO hard on ourselves.

M.O.M. Masters of Muddling We earn this degree when we master the fine art of muddling.

D.O. H. Doctorate of Humility We earn this degree when we give ourselves permission to learn and grow from our mistakes just like our children do.

Instead of focusing on how your children turn out,

focus on how you turn out. 

Hang in there and keep smiling -

you're doing better than you think you are.

Don't Be a Lazy Grandma





DOWN HOME with Granny B

The other day I was tending my grandson Mitchel while his mother April took care of his brother Caleb at the Primary Children's Hospital.  Mitchel is a very verbal four-year-old who makes delightful company.  First we read books, then we played with a construction set.  After I demonstrated how to make a space ship, Mitchel looked up at me with stars in his eyes and said, "You're the awesomest Grandma in the world!"

Well I was feeling pretty good about myself after that.  So we moved on to snack time.  When I needed a break to get some housework done, I gave Mitchel a fish that absorbed water and tripled in size after you placed it in a bowl of water.  

"Here watch this!" I said, hoping to keep him entertained for a few minutes.  

After three seconds Mitchel said, "I think this is boring Grandma.  How about we go outside and you can watch me jump on the trampoline?  Then we can come back inside and this fish will be huge!"

So I agreed because I am old enough to know that housework is always there - but children, on the other hand, they grow up and move away.

I watched Mitchel jumping for quite a while and then I got bored  So I wandered around our barn.

Then I heard Mitchel yell from the trampoline, "Grandma come and look at this awesome spider web I found!"

"I'll be there in a minute," I answered, taking my time to make it back to the trampoline because I was too busy being a grown up.

"Grandma!" Mitchel said, "Don't be a lazy Grandma!  Be an awesome Grandma!"

How can you say no to that? So I sprinted over and took a look at the spider web.  Mitchel was right.  It was awesome.

Mitchel, thanks for reminding how to be an awesome Grandma to my awesomest grandson Mitchel.

Grandmas Rule With a Soft Fist

DOWN HOME with Granny B

Make a friend with a grandma today for they are not always the quiet soft-spoken fragile women you might suppose.

* Grandmas know how to be fiercely tough if someone they love is in trouble.

* Grandmas love their family members with a loyalty and intensity you do not see in other relationships.  (You better not mess with this grandma's children or grandchildren.) 

* Grandmas are always your biggest fan.

* Grandmas have lived long enough to know what to fight for and what hills to die on.  They choose their battles carefully.

* Grandmas might not see or hear well but they love more deeply than the ocean.

*  Grandma might have yellow teeth and whiskers on their chin but they understand that true beauty always lies within.

* Grandmas would face a racing train or a firing squad if they thought if would save their child or grandchild.

So the next time you see a little old lady, just remember there is a mighty strong loving grandma residing in that tiny frail body . . . imagine her in super hero tights and a cape.  Grandmas Rock.  

 

What Do I Do With My Ten-Year-Old Son?



DOWN HOME with Granny B

Dear Granny B:

I need some insight into the heart and mind of the 10 year old boy. Certainly they are not all the same, but in general.... what do I need to know? I feel like my sweet and happy child is growing up, and sometimes he sounds more snarky and unhappy than I can stand. He is a good boy, and I love him so much- but I am so frustrated because I feel like his 6 and 8 year old siblings are more content, competent and capable than he is- but he has certainly been the recipient of as much time, love and training. We have made a special effort to do things as parents just with him, but it seems like the more we do just with him the more unkind and impatient he is with his siblings. We have loved him and helped him in every way we know how. We have sent countless prayers to heaven for him. Please help me understand him better.

A Concerned mother

Dear Concerned mother,

It is obvious that you are a dedicated and loving mother - thus your concern.

My first piece of advice is this . . . no one really has the whole answer for you - yep that means even me.

Even though you don't realize it, you have more insight into your son than you know because you love him. 

The truth is: the only real expert is God so keep consulting that source. 

Another great resource is other mothers  . . . especially those with  large families.  Pick their brains for ideas and even more importantly for perspective.  For example:  they might tell you that their obnoxious, snarky, unhappy ten-year-old son grew up to be a competent and happy adult.  They might tell you that all children go through times when they are more than difficult to live with and this is just the beginning of the roller-coaster ride that is coming. So hold on tight and don't base your self-worth on your child's decisions.  The only person you can control is . . . you.  You only control how YOU turn out.    

If this is new behavior for your son, you might want to analyze how much he has on his plate.  Is he stressed out or bored because he has too much to do or not enough? Young boys have so much energy.  They need to work off some of that energy through chores, yard work, sports or family promoted exercise programs.  But also make sure he is not over-scheduled.  Most boys love the out-doors.  Make it a family priority to get out into nature as much as possible. 

Also . . . most likely, hormones are starting.

So hang in there.  You're doing better than you think you are and so is your son. 

love,

Granny B     

Grandmahood is a hoot

Grandma hood is a hoot.  I love making home-made whole wheat bread and raspberry jam from my own raspberry patch.  I enjoy making quilts and booties for my grandchildren.  But the greatest joy is babies everywhere to hug and hold and love! (and I don't even have to be pregnant for nine months to get one..) 

There Comes A Time

DOWN HOME with Granny B

One of the advantages of growing older is that sooner or later you learn.  You can learn the hard way or the easy way.  I usually learn the hard way.

I spent way too much of my life maintaining destructive relationships.

 That's why I so love this quote I found posted by a friend on face book today.  She didn't mention who wrote it . . . but who ever it was . . . thank you.

"There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it.  You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. 

Forget the bad, and focus on the good. 

Love people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. 

Life is too short to be anything but happy. 

Falling down is a part of life . . . getting back up is living."

Old Age Forgetfulness

DOWN HOME with Granny B

Most of us know that sometimes as we age we tend to become a bit more forgetful.  That's probably true for me but frankly I think I've been a bit forgetful all my life.  Now that I'm getting older it is just handy to have something to blame my forgetfulness on.  So far I haven't lost me but you never know . . . That's why this ditty makes me laugh.

"I have gone out to find myself.  If I should get back before I return, please ask me to wait right here!" Unknown


 

An Autobiography in 5 Chapters

DOWN HOME with Granny B

When you get older, you're suppose to get wiser. 

That is not always the case with me.
But I'm slowly learning a few morsels of joyful living. 

Whenever I notice myself dealing with the same issue over and over again I like to reread this favorite story of mine. 

Problem is I can't remember who wrote this.  It wasn't me, but I sure like it.




AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN 5 CHAPTERS


Chapter 1
I walk down a street.  There's a huge hole in the sidewalk.  I fall in.  It's not my fault.  It takes forever to get out.
Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.  There is a huge hole in the sidewalk.  I pretend I don't see it.  I fall in, again.  I cannot believe that I'm in this same hole!  But it's still not my fault. It takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.  There is a huge hole in the sidewalk.  I see it.  I fall in - it's a habit! - but my eyes are open.  I know where I am.  I admit it's my fault.  I get out immediately.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I walk AROUND IT.
Chapter 5
I walk down a DIFFERENT STREET.

Don't Let Life Get You Down

DOWN HOME with Granny B

*  Don't complain about getting older.  The only alternative is dying young.

*  Most folks take life way too seriously.  Remember nobody gets out of here alive.

 *  Add years to your life and life to your years by preventing a hardening of your bad attitudes.

*  It is not easy to find happiness in yourself but it is impossible to find it anywhere else.

 *  When life gets hard - throw your fist into the air and yell, "I refuse to be intimidated by reality!"

Did I Lose A Day Or Am I Losing My Mind?




DOWN HOME with Granny B

I'm starting to wonder if I'm losing it.  Maybe it's not full blown Alzheimer's but I think it's halfzheimers.  Thought I was doing so great today . . . got the hubby and children off to work and school, did my workout video and cleaned the house - then off to orchestra.  But when I get there. . .  no one else is there.  I'm thinking . . . didn't I read the e-mail carefully.  Is this where we are suppose to rehearse today?  Where is everybody?  How strange.  Everybody forgot but me?  Oh, well . . . I'll just go shopping instead. 

It took me the rest of the day to realize that it was Tuesday and not Wednesday.  Nobody was at orchestra practice because we practice on Wednesday.  Why did I think it was Wednesday when it was Tuesday?  I don't know.  But I did ask my husband to tell me what day of the week it is before he leaves for work from now on. 

Grow Old With Me . . . The Best is Yet to Be




DOWN HOME with Granny B

OK so this is what I'd like to know. Why does it seem that every woman my age is so depressed about growing older?  What is wrong with wrinkles, grey hair and a soft tummy?  Frankly I think all this nonsense about dying your hair, getting a face lift and a tummy tuck is totally missing the point.  Growing old is wonderful.  Why not embrace grandma hood?  Wrinkles, grey hair and soft tummies are beautiful if seen through the eyes of love.

My grandson Liam thinks I'm wonderful just the way I am.



My sweetheart thinks I'm still attractive. . .

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness, For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others."


Audrey Hepburn

Planning For Retirement

DOWN HOME with Granny B

You've probably read all those magazine or newspaper articles about planning for retirement.  The advice they offer is almost always about money . . . but money is only one thing to consider for a happy old age.  When was the last time you read an article that told you to go for a walk with your sweetheart or play ball in the backyard with your son if your want to live well in your golden years? 

No amount of money can compensate for loving relationships. 

I spent this weekend up at our cabin listening to the exuberant screams of my children and grandchildren careening down the mountain side on sleighs and watching them dig snow caves and build snow slides by moonlight.

You can't buy that. 

     

Sometimes laughter is better than tears.

DOWN HOME with Granny B

When you're my age, you know life can be tough . . . but if you're still alive you have a good reason to keep dancing.  When you're a grandma you know that most of the things you worried about when you were younger didn't actually happen.  So you look for people who help you see life upside down and inside out.  You value the contributions of zany people.  If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright you might want to be.  He's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

Here are a few more of his gems:

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

Marjorie Hinckley once said, "I'd rather laugh than cry because crying gives me a headache."  So if you're having a hard day, choose laughter.