The Gift of the Resurrection

My daughter April and her husband Dallan at their son's grave.

Our family has  more gratitude for the gift of the Resurrection
 because we know we will see Caleb again.

Caleb's brothers Mitch and Matthew at his grave.
A wonderful way to celebrate Easter!

Choosing Motherhood Again

A while back Deseret Book asked me if they could re-publish an essay I wrote in my book titled For Every Mother in their new book coming out for Mother's Day 2020.


My essay is titled Choosing Motherhood Again.

The new book is titled All Kinds of Mothers.

I recently read a copy of this new book and when I read my own words, they seemed new. 

After reading my own words something happened that surprised me. 
I burst into tears.

The words I wrote in this essay many years ago comforted and inspired me to keep trying.

Lately I've had some experiences with motherhood that have left me totally devastated and heartbroken. I needed to hear those words I penned years ago.  So I want to share those words with you in case you need to hear them too:

"Motherhood is not for wimps. When you're pregnant, your body turns into a science fair project-only you're not in charge of the hypothesis, experiment, or outcome. After the baby gets here, you're sucked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on, and wet on. Then later you get kicked, punched, screamed at, disobeyed, and run away from. You eat cold meals, wear stained clothes, and never get enough sleep. When your children are finally old enough to help, they won't. When your children are teenagers and their friends come over, they ask you to hide in your bedroom and not come out until their friends leave. When they move away from home for college, they only call home when they want something.

So why in the world do we do it? We do it because if we didn't, children would die or never be born. Society would cease to exist. The world as we know it would come to an end. I know of no other life work that can make that claim.

Those who do the most good in this world are often largely invisible and receive the lease credit or payment. When governments, financial institutions, and nations fail, mothers offer the answers-brand new people wrapped in flannel. We give the world fresh human beings with novel ideas, unique talents, and visionary answers to age-old problems. And we do it because we have chosen not to put ourselves first. We have chosen to be the stewards of a new generation. We have chosen to be the moral earth where the rising generation's roots can sink deep in time-honored values. We have chosen to offer our unconditional love, our time, our talents, and everything we have so that our children can grow up with a smile in the audience, forgiving arms in a crisis, and a push of encouragement at the door when they leave the nest and learn to fly.

No community or nation will survive without us. We feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and house the homeless. It doesn't matter if anyone else, including our own spouse and children, appreciates us if we do. When we catch a glimpse of what it means to be a mother and how our actions or failure to act will affect thousands for generations, we will never undervalue our contribution again.

Motherhood frees us to love someone more than ourselves and gives a dimension of sacredness to everything we do. Motherhood liberates us from selfishness and creates a gentler world where someone is always looking out for others. Motherhood releases us from a life of get and introduces us to a life of give.

With the years and years of of nurturing, feeding, hugging, reading, and sacrificing we are granted the ability to love and the opportunity to be loved. Our hearts open to the value of another human being in ways we didn't before comprehend. We are transformed as we transcend self.

So on those hard days, choose motherhood again with even greater tenderness and commitment. I absolutely promise you that every sacrifice you make for your child will contain your life's greatest meaning-every choice to love, your life's greatest purpose."