What Do I Do With My Ten-Year-Old Son?



DOWN HOME with Granny B

Dear Granny B:

I need some insight into the heart and mind of the 10 year old boy. Certainly they are not all the same, but in general.... what do I need to know? I feel like my sweet and happy child is growing up, and sometimes he sounds more snarky and unhappy than I can stand. He is a good boy, and I love him so much- but I am so frustrated because I feel like his 6 and 8 year old siblings are more content, competent and capable than he is- but he has certainly been the recipient of as much time, love and training. We have made a special effort to do things as parents just with him, but it seems like the more we do just with him the more unkind and impatient he is with his siblings. We have loved him and helped him in every way we know how. We have sent countless prayers to heaven for him. Please help me understand him better.

A Concerned mother

Dear Concerned mother,

It is obvious that you are a dedicated and loving mother - thus your concern.

My first piece of advice is this . . . no one really has the whole answer for you - yep that means even me.

Even though you don't realize it, you have more insight into your son than you know because you love him. 

The truth is: the only real expert is God so keep consulting that source. 

Another great resource is other mothers  . . . especially those with  large families.  Pick their brains for ideas and even more importantly for perspective.  For example:  they might tell you that their obnoxious, snarky, unhappy ten-year-old son grew up to be a competent and happy adult.  They might tell you that all children go through times when they are more than difficult to live with and this is just the beginning of the roller-coaster ride that is coming. So hold on tight and don't base your self-worth on your child's decisions.  The only person you can control is . . . you.  You only control how YOU turn out.    

If this is new behavior for your son, you might want to analyze how much he has on his plate.  Is he stressed out or bored because he has too much to do or not enough? Young boys have so much energy.  They need to work off some of that energy through chores, yard work, sports or family promoted exercise programs.  But also make sure he is not over-scheduled.  Most boys love the out-doors.  Make it a family priority to get out into nature as much as possible. 

Also . . . most likely, hormones are starting.

So hang in there.  You're doing better than you think you are and so is your son. 

love,

Granny B