DOWN HOME with Granny B
When you're a grandma you know that most of the things you worried about when you were younger didn't actually happen. You appreciate people who help you see life upside down and inside out. If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright you might want to be. He's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."
Here are a few more of his gems:
... 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
One of my favorite people Marjorie Hinckley once said, "I'd rather laugh than cry because crying gives me a headache."
So if you're having a hard day, choose laughter.
When you're a grandma you know that most of the things you worried about when you were younger didn't actually happen. You appreciate people who help you see life upside down and inside out. If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright you might want to be. He's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."
Here are a few more of his gems:
... 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
One of my favorite people Marjorie Hinckley once said, "I'd rather laugh than cry because crying gives me a headache."
So if you're having a hard day, choose laughter.
