When
Someone You Love is in Heaven
by
Grandma
Baadsgaard
Never forget how much I
love you
Then Mathew forgot how to spell knowledge on his fifth grade spelling
test. He left out the d. He always
got 100 per cent in spelling and when the kids in his class found out he missed
one, they all teased him for the rest of the day. Next, his power shot totally
failed him as recess. He missed every single one of his layups when everyone
was watching. School lunch was a complete disaster because it consisted almost
entirely of a pile of fresh broccoli and carrots with no pizza. Then his
teacher told him that his best friend was home sick with the barfing bug. That
is when Mathew remembered sharing a spoon at lunch the day before because he
forgot to get one when he was in line.
Oh
great, now I’m going to get the barf bug and so will everybody else in my
family just in time for Christmas and they’ll all blame me,
Mathew thought. I’d rather get twenty
zillion warts than get the barf bug.
One the way home the biggest, meanest
sixth grader teased him about walking his five-year-old brother Mitchell home,
and taunted him with, “Kindergarten baby, born in the gravy.” So Mathew kicked
him but the mean kid kicked him back way harder and right in the shin.
Mathew ran the rest of the way home, kicked
open his front door and dashed straight to the bathroom where he could lock the
door. Mathew used to run into Caleb’s room when he got home after a hard day at
school. Caleb had a way of making him feel better about everything. Caleb’s oxygen
and feeding tube machines kept a steady rhythm and his brother’s stillness had
a way of making Mathew relax inside. Caleb was his best friend; but Caleb
wasn’t there anymore.
Mathew could hear Mitchell telling his
mother about the mean sixth grader in the kitchen when he quietly unlocked the
bathroom door and walked down the hall into Caleb’s room. Mathew’s parents had
given Caleb’s hospital bed and medical supplies to other special needs children.
There was a new bed in his room that another special needs child had given them.
Mathew climbed into that bed, sprawled out and placed his right arm behind his
neck. Then he remembered lying close to Caleb and helping him place his limp arms
around his neck. He glanced over to the corner of the room where there was a
soft brown leather chair. He remembered rocking Caleb and singing “I am a Child
of God” to him when his heart rate slowed. He looked at the hutch against the
wall that housed a collection of all Caleb’s favorite blankets and toys. He remembered
placing Caleb’s stuffed animals around his brother in his bed and making sure
his blanket was carefully pulled up around his neck.
At first, Mathew didn’t like coming into
Caleb’s room after he died. But now it felt better in there. It had been almost
a year since that day in the hospital when Mathew had to say goodbye. Now, when
he spent time in Caleb’s room, he felt something warm pass through him. Now he
wanted to stay and even sleep there sometimes.
Mathew rolled over then sat up. That is
when he saw his brother’s stuffed brown bear with one eye missing - just like
Caleb - sitting on the shelf. Then Mathew talked to his brother in his mind. He
told Caleb about the spelling test, the lousy layups and the mean sixth grader
because he knew his brother could hear him. Mathew couldn’t see Caleb any more
but he knew that his brother was still alive and could be close to him when he
talked to him in his mind. Mathew imagined Caleb sitting beside him with the
sun warming their backs. In his mind he saw Caleb wrap his arm around him and
tell him that everything would be alright.
Right then Mathew saw his mother
standing in the doorway. He didn’t have to say anything because Mathew knew she
understood . . . when you lose a son or a brother . . . God always gives you an angel. Even
though you can’t see him, you can feel him . . . and he never leaves you. For when
someone you love is in heaven, you have a piece of heaven deep inside you
forever.
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4 comments:
Oh I'm crying.. that was perfect- just perfect.
Tears for sure! That was so sweet a so real.
Beautiful.
Be still, my heart. Janene, that was beautiful. How precious that Matthew still finds comfort in Caleb's room with Caleb's things. I'm glad he found peace and knew that his brother was wrapping his loving arms around him to comfort him.
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