HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to All Woman Who Choose to Mother

When I was twenty-two years old, I celebrated my first Mother's Day as the terrified, brand-new mother of a three-week-old premature baby with jaundice. I'll never forget standing in church to receive my very first Mother's Day potted plant. I took that healthy, thriving plant home and promptly murdered it. Panicked, I was certain that the deader-than-a-doornail plant was a barometer of my mothering abilities.
I still can't believe that my first baby survived my perfectionist craziness. Back then, I had the foolish notion that real mothers were saints or angels. I've since learned that angels and saints are just people who take themselves lightly. So should mothers.
I heard a pregnant mother say in church one Mother's Day, "All you old ladies always say you're glad you're not raising your children today. You say the world is so awful. Well, I want you to stop it. You're scaring me to death."
"Don't worry, dear," an elderly lady answered, patting the young pregnant woman on the shoulder. "My grandmother used to say the same thing to me fifty years ago."

When you're a first-time expectant woman, mothers who have been through childbirth love to recite their most horrific stories of marathon labors to scare you to death. When you're a walking zombie trying desperately to soothe a newborn, more experienced parents tend to say things like, "They're only babies once. Just enjoy them, dear." When you're on the brink of a nervous breakdown with a house full of insomniac toddlers down with the chicken pox, older parents say, "Just wait till you have teenagers. You aint' see nothing yet." When you're battling fire-breathing teenagers, older parents say, "Don't wait for the children to leave home before you get a life, because . . . they come back!"
Younger mothers think their older peers have grown senile and forgotten the hard parts. Older mothers think their young peers will soon regret not having enjoyed their children while they still had them home to tuck into bed each night. The unwritten code of maternal martyrdom states, "All other mothers must have it easier than I do, because if I really believed things were going to get worse, I wouldn't get out of bed."
In fact, if we really knew what was ahead, we'd probably avoid making the very choices that ultimately bring us the most joy. Motherhood doesn't get easier as we go along, it just gets different. In truth, older mothers look back at younger mothers with a certain tenderness only experience can bestow. Perhaps it is time to stop comparing the hardness of our lives and start loving each other. It is time to appreciate and celebrate each woman's mothering contribution.

Though not every woman can have children, every woman can mother. Though nobody has this nurturing business all figured out, we can collectively relax and enjoy the learning process. Though we often make mistakes, we can feel greater peace knowing we can try, fail, and try again. As we move from one mothering season to another, we should celebrate our progress. A mother's love ignites the forces of good and changes the world one soul at a time.

One quiet day when we have grown old, we will realize we are not the same person we once were, because once you learn to truly love one human being completely, loving everybody else comes so much easier.
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FOR EVERY MOTHER ON SALE JUST IN TIME FOR MOTHER'S DAY

If you're looking for a great gift for Mother's Day, you can find my book FOR EVERY MOTHER . . . Celebrating All Stages and Ages of Motherhood on sale for 4.99 by clicking on the link below:
http://deseretbook.com/Every-Mother-Celebrating-All-Stages-Ages-Motherhood-Janene-Wolsey-Baadsgaard/i/5060710

To read reviews of this book click on the links below:

http://ldssparkles.blogspot.com/2012/09/for-every-mother.html

http://senseandcentsability.blogspot.com/2011/10/book-review.html

Announcing the release of : HEALING FROM NEGLECT. . . When Those We Love Don't Love Us

I'm happy to announce the release of my newest book titled "HEALING FROM NEGLECT . . . When Those We Love Don't Love Us."

My goal with this book and an earlier release titled "HEALING FROM ABUSE. . . How The Atonement of Jesus Christ Can Heal Broken Hearts and Broken Lives" is to help and heal. Ending all the destructive relationships in my life and writing these two books has changed my life.

I did not write these books to make money for myself. I use all the money I make from these books to buy copies and give them away for free to any one who needs one.

Click on the link below to find a site where you can purchase this book ON SALE.


http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Neglect-When-Those-Love/dp/1462111750/ref=sr_1_16?ie=UTF8&qid=1359492930&sr=8-16&keywords=janene+baadsgaard

If you would like to read a review of this book click on the link below:
http://ldsandlovinit.blogspot.com/2013/05/blog-tour-healing-from-neglect-by.html

Click on the links below to read other reviews:
http://www.iamareader.com/2013/03/healing-from-neglect.html

http://ilovetoreadandreviewbooks.blogspot.com/2013/04/healing-from-neglect.html

To view the book trailer video click on the link below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KHUSmFkJgA
 

Wonderful Day at BYU Women's Conference 2013

My daughter April Moody was a presenter at BYU Women's Conference yesterday. I loved attending her presentation and being taught by her. One of the greatest blessings of motherhood is seeing your children grow into such mature and loving adults who are a blessing to all those around them.

We spent a wonderful day together on campus soaking in great food, classes and the lively concert that evening. BYU is so beautiful in the spring.

We were both overwhelmed with the goodness of all the women who attended. All the women there are trying so hard to live good lives. Their countenances literally shone with inner light.

Thank you for inviting me to spend the day with you April. I loved every minute of it.

 

BIRTH and DEATH - a holy baptism of raw pain and transforming joy

Last year about this time, I attended the funeral of my grandson Caleb and the birth of my grand daughter Lily within hours of each other. Now each spring I am transported back to that time. I know through personal experience that our entrance and exit from this stage called life is sacred - a holy baptism of raw pain and transforming joy.

DEATH

I watch as the monitors in the hospital room flash Caleb’s vital signs. Glowing numbers appear and disappear - lower and slower.

The lights go out. 

“Don’t leave me,” Mathew sobs while he holds his dead brother in his arms. “You’re my best friend.” 

Can’t hold on to life. Can’t protect my loved ones from this exquisite pain. 

“Oh God, please help us.”

All we can do is cling to each other. Grief – a giant wave washes over us – we can’t breathe. Cold and trembling on the shore.

I see my daughter’s eyes.

Another wave.

“It was such a privilege to be your mother,” April whispers gently kissing Caleb and pulling a soft yellow blanket around his shoulders. 

Another wave.

Holding Mitchell’s tiny hand while we walk from the hospital.

“I wish Caleb could come alive again,” Mitchell says.

“Me too,” I answer. 

BIRTH

Ashley calls in the night. 

“Mom, my water just broke. Can you be with me?”

Another wave.

Hospital again. Monitor flashes Ashley’s vital signs. 
Labor contractions crest and fall. 
Minutes tick by as the waves gradually get closer and closer, 
the pain - stronger and stronger until she can bear it no longer. 

Ashley cries out in pain.

Another wave.

I cannot protect my loved one from this exquisite pain. All we can do was cling to each other.

"Oh God please help us."

“Push!” I promise. “Push through the pain. Lily is almost here. You can do it.”

Father's hands reach out and grasp his newborn daughter. Lily in her mother's arms. Exquisite joy. 

Birth and death. 

Light and dark. 

Joy and sorrow.

We can’t have one without the other.

I went alone to see Caleb's new headstone at the cemetery this week. I miss him. Yet this I know. 

Caleb is near. Lily is here.

Cycle of living, season of song, embraces and whispers, 

“Life goes on.”

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Special Sale Price - 2.99 - on FOR EVERY MOTHER ebook

My publisher is running a special sale price on the electronic version of my book "For Every Mother" just in time for Mother's Day. You can check it out on the link below.

http://www.amazon.com/For-Every-Mother-ebook/dp/B004QQ3N08/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1367353036&sr=1-1&keywords=for+every+mother


You can also find a print version on sale at the link below.
http://www.seagullbook.com/lds-products-649988.html
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Spring Will Always Come Again

SPRING WILL ALWAYS COME AGAIN
One fall my husband and I went for a ride in the mountains near our home. The road was rough with large boulders in the path, streams to cross, steep grades and numerous rock slides. Yet there were moments when we’d come around a bend in the road and suddenly there was our own private preview into heaven . . . deep green pines nestled in golden quaking aspen paired with brilliant splashes of red maples.
Quite unexpectedly snow fell the next day - soft and deep. Luminous leaves turned brown and the breathless mystery of a Rocky Mountain autumn was gone. Mountain trails closed and a harsh winter of white and waiting was upon us.
A few days later I walked into our church and saw my neighbor Bill seated in a chair next to his wife’s casket with his head bowed.
"I don't know what to do without Ann," Bill wept as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He died two weeks later.
While I sat at the kitchen table with Ann’s daughters planning her funeral, I looked into their beautiful dark eyes and saw glimpses of their petite Italian mother staring back at me. I realized the best parts of Ann lived on. At the funeral her children remembered their mother’s soft hands and her famous spaghetti dinners. In the end, it seems it is the little things we do for each other that turn out to be the big things.
As her grandchildren and great-grandchildren sang "I Am a Child of God" at her funeral, I knew Ann’s efforts to love and nurture her family had born fruit. Though she sometimes felt discouraged with her efforts, in the end she had led her posterity a little closer to heaven.
 

The seasons of life pass quickly. How brief each moment, each life. Death is waiting around the corner for us all. We can not dismiss or ignore death without losing the key to love. As winter increases our appreciation for summer and fall, so death intensifies our love for each other. We are always aware that those we care for will not always be with us.

Life is excruciatingly short. Our appearance on this stage is brief - our tenuous entrance and exit nearer together than we suppose. Like restless leaves trembling in the autumn air, a precious life is here one moment, then gone on the next breeze. Eventually we will all be separated from those we love.
I've heard it said that we die when we've learned what we came to learn or when we've taught what we came to teach. Perhaps we must do both. We are each given an equal endowment of twenty-four hours a day. What makes life precious is that we don’t know how much time we have left. Not knowing gives our fragile existence urgency. We feel the constant stirring to use our inheritance wisely - to live and love as if there is no tomorrow.

On the day of Ann’s funeral I watched the last leaf fall from the willow tree and rest softly on her lawn. Then a light snow fell. Winter and separation had come - but not to stay. Like the closing of the day and the setting of the sun, rebirth and reunion await the dawn.

Spring will always come again.Pin It

BEAUTIFUL LIFE STORIES OFTEN BEGIN WITH HEARTBREAK AND PAIN

I once knew a woman named Blanche who was confined to bed for years. While I was in bed because of premature labor, we became telephone buddies. Before bed confinement, Blanche had been in a wheelchair for thirty years because of a mistake during surgery. After she returned home from the surgery, her husband left her. Blanche was left to raise her four children alone in her wheelchair. She had every reason to focus on what she had lost. In fact, she did for a while. She tried to sue the doctor. She was depressed and disheartened.

Then one day she told me that she looked into the eyes of her daughter and realized everything her child had lost.Blanche realized her daughter needed a mother who was happy and a mother who had forgiven the doctor and her father. She had every reason to be bitter after everything she had lost. Instead, she decided to focus on what remained.

In her later years she became bedridden. Blanche had one window in her bedroom from which she could see a single tree. During our telephone conversations, she would describe in intimate detail the intricate changes the seasons would bring to her tree.

"It is such a miracle to be able to see," Blanche said. "I have so much to live for."

Blanche used the same detailed descriptions when she spoke of her grandchildren. She saw beauty and blessings everywhere she looked because she chose to see with a grateful heart, even when her entire landscape was limited to a tiny bedroom where she was forced to use a bedpan. Blanche knew the only true power we possess is our ability to see life as it really is. Life, as it really is, is downright amazing under any conditions.

Blanche also understood the value of creating our own celebrations. She often called me to wish me a happy Tuesday. She didn't wait for holidays or birthdays to celebrate or share her love of life. She understood we have to be in charge of our own joy, and create our own celebrations-for life is short. She had determined to respond positively to the events and people in her life.

Pain is part of each life. Though pain is universal - suffering is optional. Our character development and personal growth is in our hands. Though we can't always change our difficult circumstances, we can always change our attitude. When we can can't change our circumstances, it is time to change our hearts.Pin It

Wedding Day Catastrophe Or Miracle?

 

SEE IF YOU CAN TOP THIS WEDDING DAY DRAMA

I know a couple who spent their honeymoon in the LDS hospital in downtown Salt Lake City. The nurses on the surgery floor taped two felt hearts, a large golden bow and a banner that read, “Honeymoon Suite” across the hospital room door. They moved the couple to the far end of the wing so they could get a little more privacy and hold hands on their wedding night. The bride was in one bed recuperating next to another bed the nurses rolled in for the groom so he wouldn't have to be too far from his bride.
The doctors and nurses who work in the emergency room said it was the first time they’d seen a patient arrive in the ambulance wearing their wedding dress.
As you can guess, this wedding day didn’t turn out quite as expected.

Aubrey and Kyle waited 31 years to find each other. After struggling through school on a dime with crowded apartments and tight budgets they both became doctors. Aubrey has a PhD in Anthropology and Kyle is an anesthesiologist.

How they ever found each other is a miracle. They were born a few days apart but on different sides of the United States . . . Aubrey in a small town in Utah and Kyle in a small town in Pennsylvania. They both attended BYU but never met each other. He went on a mission to Spain and she finished her master’s degree. Then she accepted a scholarship to the University of Pennsylvania and he went to medical school at Penn State. They never crossed paths. Sometimes it was hard to keep believing they would ever find each other.
Aubrey was living in Washington DC when she was invited to a birthday party in Philadelphia. Kyle was invited too. That was the first time they saw each other and something clicked. They found ways to get together even with extremely busy schedules as she finished her dissertation and he finished his first year of rotations. Then he started a three year residency in LA and she started a job at the Metropolitan Museum in NYC - opposite ends of the country again.
Eventually they decided they didn’t want to live without each other any longer. They choose Valentines Day, called the Salt Lake City temple and the plans began . . . red roses and Dutch irises to decorate the hall for the reception and red velvet cupcakes and chocolate dipped strawberries for refreshments. On a special date Kyle served Aubrey chocolate dipped strawberries just before their first kiss followed by dancing, a love song and a poem.

They decided to take pictures at the temple a few days before their wedding because a big storm was forecast on their big day.

Aubrey got sick late Thursday night but she brushed it off as food poisoning or the stomach flu. Then there was the wedding supper with both families on Friday night. On Saturday morning she felt weak and crampy but excited for the big day. On the ride to the temple she complained of pain in the lower abdomen but hoped it would go away.
Right before the ceremony the pain came back. Then just as suddenly the pain went away. Her father called for a wheelchair while her mother asked the temple workers to be brief.
The feeling in that temple sealing room was electric as these two made covenants to God and each other. Rings were exchanged.

Then the pain became so intense the paramedics were called, the ambulance arrived and Aubrey was carried out of the temple on a stretcher with her groom at her side.

They talked about not wanting to miss the reception while tests were run in the emergency room but the surgeon on duty told Aubrey and Kyle they wouldn’t be attending their own reception that night. Aubrey would need to be rushed into surgery as quickly as possible. She had a ruptured appendix and the situation was serious.
The reception went on without the bride and groom at their request. Each guest was video taped and friends and family took lots of pictures so Aubrey and Kyle could see the elegant red rose and purple Dutch Iris bouquets that decorated the hall.

A ruined day? No.
There were miracles everywhere.
The marriage still took place!
They planned to fly out the next morning after the wedding to Spain for their carefully planned honeymoon. This emergency could have happened on an airplane or in a foreign country.
AND they had pictures because of the storm warnings.

There are no ruined days – there are only miracles. Pin It

"Look Mom! I'm the Breadmaker!" - How God Loves Us

One day I walked into the kitchen to find my young son surrounded by all the large containers where I stored all our flour, rice, sugar and pasta. He was busy scooping – sugar into the flour – rice into the sugar – pasta into the rice – you get the picture. The whole kitchen looked like a white billowing cloud except for my son’s innocent grin and two large blue eyes staring up at me.

“Look, Mom. I’m the bread maker!” my young son said as he looked up at me.

Suddenly it dawned on me that whenever I made bread I pulled out all those containers and started scooping. He was trying to be like me. My feelings of frustration melted into love. I was so proud of him for trying.
...
As we got busy cleaning the kitchen I realized God loves us like that.

No matter how big the mess or mistake we’ve made, God loves us and is proud of us for trying. For each of us He lovingly provides a Savior to help us clean up, restore, heal and move forward.

“Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost.”(D&C 50:41-42)Pin It

A Poem for my Five-Year-Old Grandson

Cowboy Logan
by
Grandma Baadsgaard

Happy Birthday Logan! I can’t believe you are five years old today.

Here's a poem I wrote just for you. I love you very much.

 When Cowboy Logan straps on his gun and yanks his hat down tight

You can be darn right sure, his mighty girth is an awful scary sight

Cause bad guys might be lurking in your backyard late at night

So Logan keeps his weapon cocked and turns on his flashlight

 

Cowboy Logan scales tall mountains covered in three feet of snow

Then takes a breather on his bear rug when the lights are low

For Logan knows that mighty arrows need the strongest bow

To launch good men into the world where ever they need to go

So cowboy Logan eats his broccoli and his spinach and his peas
Because he knows that fearless men can’t live a life of ease

He must be strong and valiant to find life’s important keys
For brave men can’t just live any old way they please.

 



Cowboy Logan takes his fears and stabs them in the night

With glowing swords and fearless heart he brings in days new light

For brave men know that living square is doing what is right

And never letting darkness block their brilliant sight

 Cowboy Logan has a grand place in the rodeo in the sky

Where all bucking broncos salute as they pass each other by

For Logan is a good lad and you never need wonder why

“Logan is our hero!” is what his family yells with voices high. 

 

You Are Valuable Because You Are You

I've noticed that when we are meeting someone for the first time we often ask, "What do you do?" It is a common question for most of us are curious about other's occupations.

I've also observed that as my children were growing up many people asked them, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" referring to what career they will choose. Prestige and the ability to earn money are often the result of what we choose to do.

So we grow into adults who focus almost entirely on what we do to feel good about ourselves. If we don't do enough during the day, we feel lazy. If we don't choose the right career or if we do something wrong, we fill our hearts with regret or guilt. More and more we learn to focus the camera lens of our lives on what we do.

The other day I was speaking with someone about my grandson Caleb. When people find out Caleb was born without a brain they often stand in stunned silence. Then they always ask, "What can he do?"

I know the question is innocent and I am not offended but I can't help thinking that they are missing the point. Caleb might not have a brain but he has a heart and soul. If I go through the usual list of important achievements in life, Caleb may not fit the bill. But I always long to explain that it is not what Caleb can do that defines him.

And sometimes the person I'm talking to persists with detailed questions like . . .
"Can he see?"
"Can he move?"
"Can he hear?"
"Can he speak?"
"Can he eat?"
"Can he breathe?"
"Can he think?"

And though the questions are innocent they often leave this impression . . .
"Well if he can't he do anything, I feel so sorry for him and for you. If he can't do anything - what purpose can his life possibly have?"

Because our family was blessed to have Caleb in our lives for seven years we learned that what makes someone valuable is not what they do but who they are. Though Caleb's body made it almost impossible for him to do much of anything in a physical sense, his presence was enough for us. His divine and noble spirit was alive and well inside a body with severe physical limitations yet enhanced spiritual abilities. Caleb spoke to us without language getting in the way. He loved us and we loved him. His soul could light up a whole room.

So the next time you see someone like my grandson Caleb do not ask their family members what they can do. Do not feel sorry for them. Instead say, "Tell me about your child."

And the next time you are thinking dark thoughts about self or others because of something you or they did of failed to do . . . stop.

Allow yourself to feel the love of God. You are not valuable to God or those around you because of what you do or don't do. You are valuable because you are you.

Your existence - your presence - is enough.


And perhaps when we talk to youth we might ask, "Who do you want to be when you grow up?" For it is our inner qualities, like compassion, patience, gentleness, meekness, and love that are the true measures of a meaningful life.Pin It

God's Love Can Make Us All Into Something Beautiful

People often speak to me about past regrets

and constant feelings that they will never be good enough.

Because we all make mistakes

and desire to be a better person than we are,

we can take hope in knowing

that God can take all the experiences of our life

and make us into something beautiful.

We don't have to be perfect to be perfectly loved by our creator.

Instead of constantly obsessing about our past mistakes

and present problems by thinking,

"I'll never be good enough."

or

"What was I thinking?"

or

"I can't do this."

we can choose to view our life experiences with gratitude

and ask ourselves,

"What am I learning?"

We are enough.

We are loved.

No matter where or what we are today

God sees what we can become

and helps us find our wings to fly.Pin It

Mothers and Fathers. . . What You Do Really Matters

If you get discouraged and wonder if what you're doing as a mother or father really matters, consider that your influence will reach out to future generations.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"While resting in a hospital bed after giving birth to my tenth child, I answered a phone call from my oldest daughter.
“Mom,” April gulped, “my back hurts and I can’t walk.”
“Some people feel labor pains that way, “I answered. “Better get over here and get checked.”
“But what if it isn’t labor after all?” my daughter answered. “I don’t want to go to the hospital and have those guys send me home.”
Now I know most mothers and daughters don’t go into labor that close together but that is exactly what happened to April and me. A few minutes and pain pills later, I was in the labor room again, only this time coaching instead of pushing.
I became a new mother for the last time and a new grandmother for the first time so close together it left me panting. My husband and I used to watch our young children growing up and sentimentally lament, “Boy I hope it won’t be too long between the time we have our last child and when our first grandchild is born.” Little did we know.
Experiencing pregnancy, childbirth and new motherhood along with my daughter felt like a mystical linking of generations one moment and a medical experiment gone mad the next. My daughter and I raced each other for the bathroom, craved the same frozen yogurt and kept each other company in the waiting room at the obstetrician’s office. Everybody we met asked us if we’d seen the movie “Father of the Bride Part Two.” Talk about a crazy way to bond.
Yet the moment I saw my grandson enter the word, I was awe struck - like flying without leaving the ground. The circle of life, love and family didn’t end! My baby was having her baby.
There in that labor room as I stroked my daughter’s moist forehead, I realized in the most tender sort of way that everything I’d done as her mother for the past twenty-three years was worth it . . . absolutely everything. Every single moment I’d chosen to spend caring for my child was far more important than anything else I’d determined to do with my life. As I watched my first grandchild enter this world, I knew my part in the creation and development of his mother was my life’s most important work. I understood that the whole purpose of this life was bringing down children from God and helping them find their way back to Him.
Before that moment, I simply could not begin to comprehend the importance of loving someone. It occurred to me that a thousand years from now, my babies would still be rocking their babies and the miracle of life of life and love would go on forever. I also understood that taking part in the creation and development of another human being was the greatest way to give birth to my own best life. I’d never even imagined I could feel so much joy.
Now when I see an exhausted and discouraged mother, I pat them on the back and whisper, “It matters. Everything you are doing for your family matters – so much more than you know.” (taken from "For Every Mother" by Janene Baadsgaard)

BOOK SIGNING For "Healing From Abuse" and "Healing From Neglect"

 

 

 

 

 I will be signing copies of my book "Healing From Abuse" at the Cedar Fort warehouse and store in Springville at 2373 W. 700 S. on Friday April 12th from 11-2. There will also be a way for you to pre-order a copy of "Healing From Neglect" at the event and I can sign a label to attach to the inside when it arrives. Also if you have a copy of one of my other books you want me to sign, please bring it down and I'd be happy to do that. Everything in the warehouse is on sale and there will be free food. Hope you can come. I'd love to see you and visit with you.

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