Sammy's Inexplicable Day

Sammy’s Inexplicable Day

by

Janene Baadsgaard

(alias Granny B)

(This is a special story written for my grandson Sammy on his seventh birthday.)

When Sammy woke up on his seventh birthday he didn’t know that this was going to be an inexplicable day. Sammy crawled out of bed, rubbed his eyes, yawned and walked into the bathroom.

When Sammy looked in the mirror, he saw Karate Khan staring back at him. Karate Kahn was dressed in a loose fitting white shirt and pants and had a black belt tied around his waist. Sammy’s eyes popped open. Karate Kahn’s eyes popped open. Sammy yawned. Karate Kahn yawned. Sammy poked his finger up his nose. Karate Kahn pocked his finger up his nose.

“Ahhh!!!” Sammy yelled running down the stairs.

Sammy rushed around the corner and found his mother pouring milk into his bowl of corn flakes in the kitchen.

“Mom,” Sammy said. “I’m Karate Kahn!”

Sammy’s mom looked at him sympathetically and smiled.

“I know you want karate lessons but we can’t afford them right now,” his mother answered.

“No Mom. Look at me. I’m Karate Kahn. Can’t you see my black belt?”

Sammy’s mother turned and looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“I just see your pajamas,” she answered.

“What?!” Sammy said looking down. All Sammy saw was his pajamas. “Oh, Mom. You made the magic go away because you don’t believe me.”

“Sammy. You’re too old for make believe.”

“It’s not make believe Mom,” Sammy said. “It’s real.”

Sammy sat down on the stool next to his sister Sophia and ate his soggy corn flakes. Then he grabbed his little sister by the hand and climbed the stairs back to the bathroom. When Sammy looked in the mirror he saw Karate Kahn again.

“Look Sophie!” Sammy said pointing in the mirror. Can you see I’m Karate Kahn?”

“Yes!” Sophia said. “I’m Princess Perplexity. Do you see?” Sammy looked in the mirror. He saw Sophia in her pajamas. “Princess Perplexity is wearing a gold crown and a sparkly dress.”

“I think I can see her,” Sammy said. “What color is the dress?”

“Purple,” Sophia said. “Purple with primrose rubies and voilet trim.”

“I can see it!” Sammy said.

Just then Sammy and Sophia’s mother walked into the bathroom.

“You two need to brush your teeth and get dressed,” she said.

“I’m Karate Kahn,” Sammy said.

“I’m Princess Perplexity,” Sophia added. “Look in the mirror and you shall see dear mother.”

Sammy’s mother looked in the mirror. All she saw was Sammy and Sophia in their pajamas. Then she scratched her head.

“Oh . . . now I know what the problem is,” Sammy’s mother said. “When I was a little girl I used to go in my closet then grab the clothes hanger pole with both hands. Next I’d climb up the back closet wall with my bare feet and flip over the top. When I came out of my closet, I could be anybody I wanted to be. I just need to go into the closet. I’ll be right back.”

Sammy and Sophie’s eyes popped open. They had never seen their mother behave like this before. They watched as she stepped into the closet and closed the door. They heard thumping and bumping. When their mother emerged from the closet, she was wearing a silky cloth draped over her head and she also had a jewel hanging from her forehead.

“I am the Queen of Sheba,” Sammy’s mother said, “and you cannot steal my kingdom mighty Kahn. Get ready for a duel to the death.”

Karate Kahn leaped into position. Then he bared his teeth and formed hands of steel ready to karate crunch.

“Hi-yah Ha!” Karate Kahn yelled.

After a mighty duel that included shower curtain rips and momentous leaps over the toilet, the Queen of Sheba fell dead on the floor. In a sudden display of great remorse for what he had done, Karate Kahn knelt down at the queen’s side and wept.

“What will we do without the Queen of Sheba to pour our corn flakes?” Karate Kahn sobbed.

“There is nothing to fear,” Princess Perplexity said grabbing the toilet plunger. “I will bring her back to life with my magic spell. Watch this! Alakazab and fiddle-de-beeba, come back to life, Queen of Sheba!”

Slowly and with excellent stage presence, the Queen of Sheba awakened from the dead and stood next to the sink with her newly donned towel cloak. Then she thrust her hand high in the air and made her first command.

“I decree that this is national eat cake and ice cream day,” she said.

Karate Kahn, Princess Perplexity and the Queen of Sheba marched down stairs to prepare for their feast. Before they could eat their first bite, Loofy Liam screamed from his swamp crib and Loony Logan howled like a wolf from his potty chair.

“We must rescue our loyal subjects in distress,” Princess Perplexity said.

“Have no fear. I will save Liam and Logan,” Karate Kahn said.

“Yes,” the Queen of Sheba said. “Go brave warrior. Let loose your mighty skills. Vanquish swamp cribs and pernicious potty chairs.”

Karate Kahn courageously marched into the fray. Suddenly the Queen of Sheba and Princess Perplexity heard loud shrieking, thumping and bumping. Then fell an eerie silence. Finally in walked Karate Kahn with Liam held high above his head and Logan trailing close behind.

“We are all safe and together at last,” Karate Kahn said as trumpets blared.

“Let us eat cake!” Queen of Sheba commanded. “For today is the birthday of the mighty Karate Kahn.”

So they all sat down and ate cake and ice cream until they could eat no more.

Happy Birthday Sammy.  Grandma Baadsgaard loves you very much!

A Teenager's Letter to MOM

Dear MOM,

I don't want to clean up my bedroom

I like to live in this mess

I don't want to pick up my clothes either

I just want to watch TV and rest

So get off my back would you mother

I don't need clean underwear

I don't need to find my homework

I don't need to sleep either, I swear

So just close my door and be grateful

That you don't have to live like that

I'll let you know when the health department

Comes and forces out all the bats

You say it looks like a bomb hit

Cause there's stuff all over the place

But I say it's just teenage artistic expression

And the pizza bones are not a disgrace

Someday when I'm grownup and famous

You'll say, "Why I used to her Mom.

I thought she'd grow up to be a big slob

But look she's actually got some charm."

Planting

During the past several months six beautiful new children have been added to our family.  With each new addition I have felt so much love and admiration for the courageous women . . . their mothers. . .who give so much.  Thank you Karen, Martha, Arianne, Aubrey, Teresa and Amy for your willingness to be a mother.  This poem is for you and all the other women out there who desire to have children. 

Planting

I'm thinking of planting a garden

I don't know what size or what shape

I've never planted a garden before

I don't know what depth or what space

Have you seen the seeds of a carrot

like flecks of dust in my hand?

Can this tiny crying baby

Really someday become a man?

I'm thinking of planting a garden

I don't know the best time to sew

Who will be the water and sunshine

So my tiny seedlings will grow?

Have you seen the seed of a woman

Like flecks of love in His hand?

Can you see the circle of families

As numerous as grains of sand?

 I'm thinking of planting a garden

With stars, moon and sun in my hand

I will harvest the sons and daughters

Of the master Gardener of man. 

Mother of Toddler Lament

Where in the world did my baby go

There's a monkey here in his place

I can't keep things picked up any more

And there's stuff all over his face

I'm tired of unplugging the toilet

If I have to clean up one more mess

I think I'll just tear out my hair roots

I don't think I can handle this stress

He used to sleep in his cradle

Now he's running all over the house

My floor's all covered in brown spots

He thinks we're playing cat and mouse

He won't eat his good food at supper

He never feels like taking a bath

He refuses to keep his shoes on

He keeps dead bugs in his stash

He thinks there's a family of monsters

Living under the floor boards in the hall

He won't sit still for a moment

And he always gets lost at the mall

Mom told me I'd have had days like this

But she didn't say they would last for years

Sometimes I think I'm losing my marbles

Please God, help me find low gear

Motherhood Rewards

   To put it bluntly this motherhood country
Is not for the faint of heart
                                                       

For you will find your mind just won't unwind

And this will be your part:

My breasts need a rest

My day's gone away

My son is undone

My teen split a spleen

My road is a load

My land needs a hand

My all is a wall

My name is a game

I'll never be the same

But soon you'll confess even in all of this mess

That you like this motherhood plan

Helping God bring to earth by you giving birth

To the souls of the family of man

So before you perish please remember to cherish

Each child God gives you to tend

When you're over the hill and sitting very still

They might come back home again

Of all worldly pleasures even by the strictest measures

Grandchildren are the sweetest rewards

So just keep on working and going berserking

And you'll never be lonely or bored

Heaven Homesickness

HOME

often

I feel

a traveler
here

far
from
home

would my mind permit

I could
almost remember

what home is like

almost. . .

yet sometimes

I feel

a nearness

paper thin

The Value of Time

We are equally rich in time. 

We have the same amount of time in an hour, day, week or year. 

The only variable is that we don't know how much time we have before we die. 

So there are important choices to be made every day. 

How will we spend our time? 

So just for today . . .

Take time to play.

Take time for family and friends.

Take time to laugh.

Take time to dream.

Take time to love.

Time invested in those we love brings dividends that never end.

The Miracle of Life



Aden and Amy with baby Tessa just moments after birth.

Witnessing the birth of a new child is perhaps one of the most profoundly moving experiences of this life - even though seemingly common, the birth of each new child is still a miracle on a cosmic scale.  Each new child brings all of us hope for a better future - a message that God has not yet given up on us.    

Amy and Tessa

Most of the time when I've witnessed a new child being born, I've been the one giving birth - but a few times I've been privileged to watch as mother, father and child work together as a team to make it happen.  I am still teary eyed from my experience yesterday as I watched my granddaughter Tessa's birth.



Tessa opened her eyes as soon as she was born and peeked at the world for the first time.  She found a mother and father who love and adore her.  And a Grandmother filled with joy.

So today let's celebrate family and the courage of women everywhere who choose motherhood and courageously bring children into the world.   

Tessa is Born Today!

My new granddaughter Tessa was born this morning.  She is amazingly beautiful.  There is no greater miracle.  How I love her and her mother and father Amy and Aden.

I was able to witness this beautiful birth.  I'm still teary eyed and in wonder at the whole miracle of life.      

She weighed in at 7 pounds and 3 ounces and is 19 inches long.  She has blond hair and long tapered fingers ready to play the harp or piano just  like her mother and father.

I feel so grateful and humbled by the blessed events of this day.

My New Book Is Now Available!




My new book - front and back cover.

FedEx dropped off  a cardboard box on my doorstep this week.  My heart pounded as I ripped open the box.  There smiling up at me were several copies of my newest book "FOR EVERY MOTHER . . . Celebrating All Stages and Ages of Mothering".

Seeing a book I've written for the first time is both fulfilling and frightening.  Writing is a solitary act . . . just me, my thoughts and my computer in a small home office.  Publishing, on the other hand, is so public.  It comes with the sudden pressure to actually sell copies.  It feels like sending a child out into the world.  I'm apprehensive because I don't know what kind of reception this book will receive.

Then I remember that reading is also a solitary act.  An author connects with a reader one to one.  This companionship is intimately personal.  Like a private conversation between friends, a writer and a reader come together and inspire each other.  Every time I have been tempted to give up on writing an appreciative  reader has written me a letter or e-mail and inspired me to continue.  I can only hope that this new book will find a few friends.

I wrote this book to celebrate mothering.  Whether we've been a mother for a few brief moments before the heartbreak of miscarriage or we've been blessed to physically bear children is not the determining factor in our power to mother. All women are mothers.  What matters if that we make the individual effort to inspire, encourage, uplift, teach, love and serve each other.

Mothering changes souls one at a time.  For true mother love transforms both the lover and the beloved.  The true value of a year or a life is not measured by the number of our children but by our personal capacity to love.  Each woman's contribution is meaningful; each choice to love is significant and profound.

And so today I send this book out to you . . . and to women everywhere . . .  from my heart to yours  . . . with my deepest love and appreciation for everything you do.  To all women everywhere I say . . . thank you.           

Finding Joy Every Day

Life is difficult.  Each day presents us with a new problem to solve.  Yet, once we accept the fact that life is not easy - we are free to embrace it.  If you have problems, you have the whole human race for company.
If you are feeling blue, throw your fist into the air and yell, "I can do this!  I refuse to be intimidated by reality!"

Don't take life too seriously. 

Think about your blessings. 
Smile.
 Laugh.
 Surround yourself with people who help you see the good in your life.
 Play with a small child.

We all need to loosen up.  We are not in control of anything or anybody except ourselves and our attitude.

So choose to be grateful.  Choose to think positive thoughts.  Choose to be fully present in your life today.  Chosse to love.  The past and future have no hold on us unless we allow it.  Today is a gift to be savored and enjoyed.  

Words of Wisdom for the Overwhelmed

You don't have to be wise or wonderful

all the time. 

You don't have to know

all the answers

or 

always do the right thing. 

You don't have to be strong

all the time. 

You just have to

pray.
Then you will know 
you are enough
just as you are
and
you are loved.
                                               
                                                
                                                   
                                            
                                         
                                 
                                    

Loving Our Children

 

Your children existed

before they came to you. 

God will give you glimpses

 into your children's soul

 if you ask. 

The greatest truths

 you'll ever receive

will happen

when you look deep

into your child's eyes

then ask God 

to tell you

 who they are

 and

how to love them.

Taking Time for the People Who Matter Most



Finding time for our children really matters  These daily rituals add lots of love to a busy family routine.


*Create Memorable Mealtimes

Families who commit to eating at least one meal together soon discover the benefits that come from creating a golden family hour each day. This hour is time set aside exclusively for the family. It helps to set aside a specific time every day and eliminate as many distractions as possible by turning off the television, computer and telephones. Community, school, career and church activities are numerous and will encroach on family time if not carefully selected.

A golden hour might include:

Preparing a meal together

Saying a prayer

Eating together

Reading a chapter from a good book/talking about the day's activities/singing a song

Doing the dishes together

Helping with homework/going for a walk/throwing a baseball/playing a board game.


* Make Homecomings and Departures a "Touching" Event

Everyone likes to be noticed, appreciated and loved. It only takes a few seconds for parents to make every homecoming and departure a little more warm and fuzzy for their children. Don't hold back. Be warm and affectionate when your child leaves or come back home.
Parents can:

Kiss

Hug

Make a positive comment - "I believe in you!" "Make it a good day." "I'm so glad you're home!" "I missed you today."

Wave from the window

Blow kisses

Smile

Say "I love you."

* Utilize Transport Time

Most parents and children spend part of their day in their car going and coming from a multitude of activities like school, lessons and activities. Parents can put this time to better use by recognizing car time as a great time for positive personal parent/child interaction.

Parents can:Turn off cell phones/radio/stereo

Be truly present

Talk

Listen - Sometimes children open up best when they aren't looking straight at you

Create fun car games and a family goodbye honk

Invite one child at a time to accompany you on routine errands


* Establish Pleasurable Bed Time Routines


Bedtime routines can be painful and stressful if rushed or forced. It only takes a few extra minutes to have positive personal time with each child each night.

Parents can:

Stagger bedtimes for each child so they have individual time and avoid interruptions

Read books

Tell original adventure tales starring the child

Take a few minutes to carefully tuck the child in bed

Ask: "What was one good thing that happened today?"

"What was one thing that was not so good?"

Sing a lullaby

Pray

Stroke the child's forehead

Say I love you

Rub noses/kiss/hug

Children who have been loved know how to love. Daily loving rituals don't take more time or money; they only require that parents re-order their lives so that they have unhurried time for the people who matter most.

Replacing Negative Thoughts

Positive thinking brings us more joy.

There is a way to develop the art of positive thinking.  Since we can only think one thought at a time . . . we need to replace all negative, fearful and and unloving thoughts with positive, hopeful and loving thoughts.  We can't always control what thought enters our head but we can control if it stays there.  It takes practice to change the way we think.  Here are some ways to practice:

* Make a firm personal commitment to replace ALL negative, fearful and unloving thoughts with thoughts that are positive, courageous and loving.
* Regularly post meaningful quotations in a place you frequent that motivates you to better thoughts.
* Write a letter to someone detailing several admirable qualities you've noticed in them.
* Fill your mind with beauty and enlightenment by reading good books and supporting the local arts.
* Avoid people who are "hateaholics," "negaholics," and "fearaholics."
* Force yourself to find something good in every stressful situation.
* Make a list of your positive qualities so you have a handy script to refer to when you have negative thoughts about yourself.
* Dare to do something you've always wanted to do but were too afraid to try.
* Practice the art of horriblization.  This means you take every negative or fearful to the worst case conclusion . . . death.  Then laugh at yourself. 
* Whenever you feel less than, scared, lonely, grouchy or mean go back and see what thought came before that emotion.  Change the thought and see if it changes the way you feel.