Each Day Is A Gift

My husband and I attended a graveside service for a tiny baby born to our friends. I remember standing silently at the freshly dug grave with other family members and friends when the limousine drove up. When the funeral-home operator opened the long car door, we saw our friends inside. The new father was gently cradling the tiny coffin on his lap. The new mother, only a few days from a hard delivery and birth, sat motionless - her face white and still, her eyes red and tired. This was their first child, a son. Our friends were two gentle, quiet, sensitive people we’d known in high school. They’d waited a long time for this baby. It was a simple graveside service. The wind was icy cold as our friends slipped their arms around each other so tightly their knuckles went white. Together, they quietly and graciously acknowledged each condolence, reserving their grief for solitude. I left that service with an urgency to thank God for the gift of my children.

Funerals and cemeteries remind us that life is fragile; each day is a gift. The older I get and the more funerals I attend, the more I realize how few people really care when someone dies. Without a close family and friends, one passing life doesn’t seem to create that much interest.

I am slowly learning what it means to live and love so that those around me will become heart of my heart and soul of my soul. What I desire most in this life is that those around me know I love them.

Life has taught me that love only fails me when I don’t give it. Sharing my love - whether or not it is returned - always fills me with peace and joy.

All real joy is in the moment. All true peace is in us. When we choose to love we experience a piece of heaven right here on earth.

One of the great blessings of having children for as long as you can is that you never run out of babies and children to love.  My husband and I hoped it would not be long between when our last child was born and when our first grandchild was born.  Our wish was granted. We only had to wait a few hours. My last child and my first grandchild were born only hours about.  My daughter and I were in the hospital together and we went home on the same day.

So my youngest children have the blessing of growing up surrounded by nieces and nephews their same age that they love and adore and those nieces and nephews love and adore them right back. 

Me, I feel like I have a foot in two generations.  I'm a grandmother to many and yet I'm still raising my own children.  I love the perspective it gives me.  I can't get too overly sentimental or judgemental because I'm still in the trenches but I also have the advantage of real life school.  I know from personal experience how quickly childhood passes. 

My youngest children John and Alisa are not growing up lonely even though their older brothers and sisters are much older than they.  They are surrounded with love. 

I thank God every day for the gift of children in my life.

Honoring the life of Benjamin Orton

My grandson Caleb's good friend died recently. Benjamin Orton and Caleb Moody share their love, their similar experience of living life without a functioning brain and families who have immensely treasured having these two celestial boys in their home.

My daughter April and her friend Emily (who also has a son with special needs) went to New Hampshire to attend the funeral and support Ben's mother and their dear friend Becky.

I feel so honored to know you Ben.  Thank you for being Caleb's friend.  We will miss you and the light you brought into our lives.  You life was short but rich.  Thank you for sharing your love with us.

Spanish Fork Pioneer Cemetery Visits with Family by Janene Baadsgaard

One of the tradtions we have in our family is to visit the Pioneer Cemetery in Spanish Fork on Memorial Day.  Then we take turns telling a story about one of our Pioneer ancestors. 
Another tradition we have is that we visit the graves of our parents/grandparents on Memorial Day.  Then we each take turns telling each other one happy or positive memory we have about our parents or grandparents.

More Funeral Wisdom

The only people who are truly happy are those who have learned to live for others. When we truly love others, we are perceptive about their relationship to their own lives and not overly concerned about their relationship to our lives. We love them because they exist, not because they earn it. Only God offers us unconditional love – the rest of us are just practicing. When we are filled with God’s love, we always have enough to share. What will really matter when we die – the kind of house we lived in, car we drove or how much money we had in the bank? No. Our lives will have meaning only if we’ve taken the time to truly love someone.


My husband and I like to go for walks around the cemetery. Looking at the markers is always good for personal perspective adjustments. I often stop and read the headstones. The limited space on the grave marker demands the surviving loved ones limit their descriptions of the departed to a few words like “loving mother” - “gentle husband” – “precious child.” What few words do we want to describe us? When I read the simple phases chiseled in the granite, I always leave with a clearer focus about what matters most. Our ability to love those closest to us will determine the quality of our life.

Who will hold us in their arms when we die? Who will care that we lived at all? Who will miss our presence? Why do we so often spend time on things that matter least instead of people who matter most? When we focus our time, energy and affection on people, we have the same priorities as our Creator.

Emily's Baptism Day and Andrew's Blessing Day

We had such a wonderful day in Roosevelt today.  It's not very often when you are able to see your granddaughter baptized and your grandson blessed on the same day!

                                                                                  

More Baadsgaard Family Reunion 2010 Photos

Faces at the Baadsgaard Family Reunion