Happy Birthday Sammy

SAMMY AND THE FRIEND FACTORY

This is a special story written for my grandson Samuel on his sixth birthday.

Happy Birthday Sammy!
Grandma Baadsgaard loves you very much.

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Sammy who loved playing with friends more than anything. The problem was his regular friends Ethan, Ben and Zadok always went home before Sammy was finished playing.

I want a friend who never goes home, Sammy thought. I know what I’ll do . . . I’ll build a friend factory!

A few days later Sammy’s parents brought home a new dish-washer in a large cardboard box.

Just what I need for my factory, Sammy thought.

“Can I have that box?” Sammy asked his Mom.

“Sure,” his mom answered.

So Sammy got out his scissors, duct tape and a big black marker. Then he cut out doors, made levers, taped on shelves and drew the knobs and pulleys. Now his cardboard box was not a box any more – it was a factory - a friend factory. Sammy pushed his factory inside his closet. He knew factories make things what people want and what Sammy wanted most of all was a friend who never went home.

Sammy made a plan to mix all the magic ingredients to create a best friend. He walked around his house and back yard thinking and searching. While he searched he figured out the perfect name for his best friend. Then he knew just what he needed for his factory order.

First he needed the letters W and E.

When I’m alone, I’m just ME, Sammy thought. But when I turn the M upside down I get a W and it spells WE. A really good friend changes ME to WE.

Next he needed the sound of “Fa”. Sammy loved to sing and one day his mommy taught him the sounds of music like this . . . Do, Ray, Me, Fa, So La, Te Do. Sammy liked “Fa” the best. So he sang this song and stopped on “Fa” then grabbed his favorite sound out of the air and held it tightly in his hand.

Next he needed Fur. Sammy knew really good friends are always huggable. So Sammy found his black kitty. When he petted her, soft black fur came off in his hand.

Last, Sammy need a ton because friends love each other a ton.

“Can you help me find a ton,” Sammy asked his mom.

“What for?” his mother asked.

“I’m making a friend,” Sammy whispered in his mother’s ear. “Don’t tell any one – I have a friend factory in my closet.”

Sammy’s mother scratched her head while she searched the kitchen for a ton.

“Here,” she said handing Sammy a heavy magnet from the junk drawer, “This weighs about a ton.

Then Sammy’s mother followed Sammy into his bed room.

First Sammy opened the left door of the closet and put all the ingredients on the input shelf. Then he closed the left door and waited.

When Sammy opened the right closet door to see what appeared on the output shelf, he didn’t find anything.

“I think you should go to the bathroom while the factory is working,” his mother said. “Really good friends take lots of time to make.”

So Sammy went to the bathroom then came hurrying back. When he opened the right closet door again - what did he find . . . a furry black stuffed animal spider with tiger stripes on his back.

“WE-FA-FUR-TON!” Sammy yelled. “You’re real!”

So Sammy and Wefafurton became best friends. They ate breakfast together, they went to bed together and sometimes they even had a bath together. But best of all, his new friend never went home.

“Hey, Mom,” Sammy said, “Tomorrow I’m going to make a rocket factory so I can blast off to the moon with Wefafurton!”

“You better talk to your father about that,” his mother answered.                                                                     

If You Can't Change Your Circumstances, Change Your Attitude

Once we replace negative thoughts and call on God in prayer, we are better able to become more aware of our attitudes or the way we choose to think about our circumstances.


One day I walked into the room just as one of my young sons punched his little brother in the nose. I immediately began a lecture.

“In our home, we don’t hit each other. When we feel mad, we talk about it,” I said, placing my hands on my hips.

My young son obviously felt bad about what he’d just done and even worse about getting caught. He lowered his eyebrows and in a frustrated voice asked, “Why did we have to come down from heaven anyway?”

“When you were in heaven you were so excited about coming to earth, you shouted for joy,” I answered.

My young son lowered his eyebrows again, squished up his lips and thought for a moment before he replied, “Yea, well if I did, I was just teasing.”

He expressed well what many of us feel like when faced with yet another problem. We wonder - What was I thinking? I shouted for joy for this?

Yes! Though life can be difficult, it helps to remember that we actually signed up for mortality with enthusiasm. Everything we experience in this life gives us the opportunity to develop character. The person we become because of our experiences is the only thing we take with us when we die. Since none of us are going to get out of this alive, we might as well make the best of things while we’re here. Making the best of all our personal circumstances is the formula for developing a healthy attitude.

Paradoxically heaven didn’t have the requisite misery and pain for us to experience a fullness of joy. In heaven we couldn’t have children and “would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for (we) knew no misery; doing no good, for (we) knew no sin. But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things. Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that (we) might have joy.”(2 Nephi 2:23-25)

Wow! So we’re here to experience joy - and we can’t experience joy without experiencing misery and pain. That pretty much sums up the point of life. We’re here to gain knowledge, understanding, and personal experience through both joy and pain. There are certain character traits we develop only through difficult circumstances, such as patience, wisdom, unselfishness and love. In this life all things have their opposite - good and evil, virtue and vice, light and darkness, pleasure and pain, life and death. We all have difficult experiences to deal with. We have no control over many of the circumstances in our life, but we do have control over the person we become and the character we develop because we have the master controls over our attitude.

Check Out John's Interview with Branden Mull

  

To see the video interview on Youtube click here.

Saint Patrick's Day Photos

These are the cutest Saint Patrick's Day Photos I've seen. 
Libby, Emily and Sandy - my wonderful granddaughters.

John's Dream Comes True!

A dream is coming true for my son John today. John is an avid reader and usually devours several books a week. His favorite book series is the Fablehaven series by Brandon Mull. He has spent his hard earned money to buy each book and eagerly awaits the newest release. 
John was informed yesterday that he is one of 5 lucky winners in a Daily Herald newspaper contest.  As a result  he will be able to meet Branden Mull, ask him questions and receive a signed copy of the final book in the series TODAY.

This past week John RE-read all of the first four books so he is primed and ready to read the final book.

Congratulations John!

Catching the Golden Moments of Childhood

I walked into my living room the other day and found my daughter Alisa looking out the window at the close of day. 
I wanted the moment to last forever but I knew such moments are fleeting. Alisa is the last of my ten children - so I know how quickly childhood fades away. 
You have to catch the golden moments while you can. For children are like rays of sunshine . . . impossible to hold in the palm of your hand . . .  but you can hold them in your heart forever.

Celebrating New Life

Arianne, Alisa, Me, Martha, Karen, Teresa, April, Ashley and Amy

We LOVE to celebrate family!

One of my favorite things about being a mother is that I never have to stop having babies.  Now that I'm too old to bring new children into the world - my precious daughters are busy welcoming new children into our family.  We are expecting 5 new children this year!  This past weekend we had a baby shower to celebrate the almost arrival of Andrew Jordan Baadsgaard expected in a few weeks.  Girls night out was filled with great conversation, opening presents, going to a movie and out to dinner. I can't wait to hold my new grandson in my arms. (We sure missed you Aubrey.)

"Parents and children should realize that strong opposition will always come against the work and will of the Lord. Because the work (and glory) of God is to bring to pass our immortality and eternal life as a family, it logically follows that the work of the adversary will strike directly at the heart of the home the family. Relentlessly Lucifer attacks the sanctity of life and the joy of parenthood."


Russell M. Nelson, "Set in Order Thy House," Ensign, Nov. 2001, 71

When We Rely On God For Strength

We find the path to happiness by quickly replacing all negative, fearful or unloving thoughts. We take the first step along the path when we receive instruction and comfort from God. Negative thinking effectively blocks the flow of love and wisdom from our Creator. Prayer allows us to connect with strength and wisdom beyond our own and helps us see reality with greater clarity. If we want more confidence in life, ourselves and others we need to keep a prayer in our hearts all the time. Then God can truly transform us by the renewing, refreshing or recharging our mind.

When we rely on God for strength we also acquire a new resiliency. When something stressful happens to us we quickly choose to draw on divine strength. God can teach us how to quickly reframe or redefine the difficult situation so that we can see our circumstances with a greater sense of calm and trust in God’s love and ultimate plan for our happiness. Our Creator is ever ready to help us. When we have God at our side, nothing is impossible. “If God be for us, who can be against us?”(Romans 8:31)

Our Creator will also help us learn to see other people in a more loving way. To explore this idea, think of someone you do not have kind feelings for. Perhaps you really don't like this person and feel righteously justified with your evaluation of their worth. When you’re willing to be truly sincere, offer a prayer and ask for help to see that person the way God does. If you continue praying about this person long enough, you will eventually be enlightened. That person may not ever change, but the way you think about that person will change dramatically. You will no longer be self-deceived and will be granted a glimpse into that person’s soul. Praying about the people you dislike has the potential to change your life like nothing else.

God will also help us let go of the past. We all have enough bad things happen to use as an excuse to be miserable for the rest of our lives. We can’t change the past; even God can’t change the past. Yet, with divine help, we can change the hold the past has over us through repentance or forgiveness. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, God will help us let go of the past in a way that it will no longer have a negative impact on our thoughts and behavior in the present.

The war in heaven has already been waged and won. Good triumphed over evil. The only battle that remains is the battle for our souls. That battle in waged largely in our minds. “. . . be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.”(Romans 12:2) We have been promised we are never alone to bear our burdens or face our challenges. “Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.”(2 Kings 6: 16) So we can let go of negativity, hate and fear. If we ask God to help us, our hearts will change in ways we never dreamed possible.

More On Getting Rid of Fear

Our thoughts and subsequent behavior have the power to bring great hope or harm to our posterity. In the same way we might write a script for a play, we help author our children’s thoughts by the way WE think. We have no secret or private musings that don’t influence us and those we live and associate with. If we take the time to cultivate loving, uplifting thoughts, we become the fertile field for our children’s hearts to grow in. We can’t control the elements of sun and storm, but we can be their good earth.

When I first became a mother, I often felt overwhelmed and inadequate. I read every book and article I could find about parenting and discovered that experts kept changing their minds and disagreeing with each other.  I finally decided to ask the only real expert. I plead with God to teach me how to love my husband and children. Each time I prayed I felt impressed to change my thoughts.

I remember receiving the impression that if I really wanted to help one particular child, I had to let go of all my most personal fears. Those fears didn't consist only of public speaking or death, but included fear of failure, not being good enough, pretty enough or smart enough, being rejected by those I loved or even that I was unknown to God.  As I gradually uncovered and let go of my fears, I watched my little girl let go of hers. As I replaced my negative thoughts with positive ones, I watched my little girl blossom into her true self. Today that same little girl who didn't dare leave the house alone because a grasshopper might jump on her has earned a PhD from a prestigious Ivy League school and travels the world working on archaeological sites, doing research and presenting papers.

Half of all hospital beds are filled with worry warts and hypochondriacs. We need to relax and turn our lives over to God. Obsessive worrying is a bad habit that demonstrates a basic lack of trust in our Creator. We need to remember God is in charge. Like staring at pictures in magic-eye books, we have to be still, focus and then relax before the image appears. When we focus on positive thoughts and learn how to relax, we too will see the magic in our lives that we are missing at first glance.

When I taught writing to college students, I told them to type on the computer with the screen turned off so they couldn’t see and criticize what they had written. My students couldn’t write well if they were constantly worried about their mistakes. If they focused on expressing themselves in the first draft then worked on grammar and spelling in a later draft, their craftsmanship improved dramatically. We likewise don’t live well when we focus on everything we or others are doing wrong all the time. Everyday life is first draft. We can go back and make corrections. We need to let go of our perfectionism, over-anxiety and our multitude of fears. Most fears are blown way out of proportion.

For example, when my daughter Amy was three she was mortally afraid of the tiny, black pieces of sock lint that floated into the bathwater from her tiny toes. She would jump up and scream, pointing at the horrible, dark monsters. I tried reasoning with her, calmly explaining that sock lint was nothing to be afraid of. It didn’t work.

My husband walked into the bathroom, observed his screaming daughter then suddenly became exuberant yelling, “Amy, kill it!” He grabbed the nearest powerful weapon - the toilet plunger - and demonstrated to his tiny daughter how to knock the smithereens out of a piece of sock lint mixed with toe sweat. “Now you do it,” he said, handing Amy the plunger.

To my surprise Amy quickly modeled her father’s behavior. Instantly, a smile marched across her face. She was empowered. Her screaming episodes in the bathtub disappeared. Similarly, the way we think about challenging people and situations in our personal lives can make them seem scarier than they really are. If we ask God to help us, we will be given the abilitly to see more clearly so we can do battle with our negative and fearful thoughts before they paralyze us.

Sometimes the difference in a winning season and a losing season is in the way we think about ourselves after we mess up or lose a game.

I went to a basketball game the other day. My team lost but I didn’t feel sad or blame any of the players for a poor performance. I see winning and losing differently now because I am a mother of a daughter who played basketball. I know about all the time and effort that goes into being on a basketball team. I know about the long practices, painful injuries, competition for positions and the deep personal disappointment that follows losing an important game. I know every player on the court is trying their best.


I remember telling my daughter after a heartbreaking loss, "Maybe it's not so much about winning or losing, but putting everything you have on the court so you can walk away knowing you gave it all you had."

"Yeah I know all that Mom, but it still hurts," my daughter answered.

Now when I go home from any sporting event where my team doesn't win, I think about all those young men or women who gave their best to an effort that didn't work out the way they planned. I know they’re probably at home hurting inside - criticizing themselves or wishing for a second chance on a crucial play.

I want to say, “Stop! Look forward, not back. You can’t change what has already happened. Picture yourself doing better in your next game.”

I read an amazing study once that said the difference between a winning and losing season for two teams with equal talent is how the individual players think about themselves after losing a game. Players who visualize them selves doing better in the next game have a much better chance of a winning season than players who are overly self-critical and dwell on past mistakes.

It works the same way at home. When we are overly self critical and agonize about everything we said or did we have a hard time living in the present or moving into the future with hope and joy. At times, we all wish we could get a second chance, but we can’t go back. However, we do have the ability to positively influence lives today. If we don’t visualize our selves doing better tomorrow, we spend too long in despair.

Some people score their parenting success by how their children turn out. The truth is many wonderful parents won’t see an immediate return on their investment. No matter what anyone says to make them feel better, it still hurts. If we are wise, we will stop keeping score that way. In every sporting event there is a winner and a loser; but parenting is different. There are no winners and losers because the game never ends and God is the only one who knows enough to keep score.

Some of our heart-felt desires are fulfilled but many are not. For each life comes with sunshine and sorrow, happiness and heartache. Yet one thing I also know about life - no matter what happen to us - it goes on. The score-keeper’s total at the end of the game may not be what we counted on and the harvest isn’t always what we expect. Yet, through the grace of God, there is always another season yet to come.

LDSLiving Magazine Article

Check out the March-April issue of LDSLiving Magazine. 

I have an article in it called "Adventures in Smiling". 

The magazine took this piece from my newest book called "15 Secrets to a Happy Home".

Sharing my Love of Writing with Students

One of the things I like best about being an author is when teachers invite me into their classroom to talk about writing.  I especially enjoyed my classroom visit to Reese Elementary School today with Mr. Roberts and Mrs. Beyal's students. These students asked great questions and some of them even shared their own writing with me. I have a feeling that there are many future writers in this group of bright enthusiastic students.  Thank you for inviting me and KEEP WRITING!

Getting Rid of Fear

Fearful thoughts take all the fun out of living. Even if the worst thing we can imagine happens, we will discover we can survive it. Life goes on and we are capable of much more than we know. The what-if disease takes a terrible toll on our happiness.

My favorite remedy for the what-if disease is what I call the horribilization remedy. My rules for horribilization are as follows: First have a fearful thought such as, I have to give a speech in front of all those people. I know I’m going to bomb. We usually obsess over that thought until we’re ready to pass out. To horribilize you have to go even deeper. You think of what-ifs until the very worst thing happens - death. You horriblize to the death conclusion like this, What if I give such a bad speech that everyone thinks I’m stupid and they tell my boss and he fires me and then I can’t buy groceries, starve and die? I guarantee that taking a fearful thought to the death conclusion will always make you laugh at yourself. Besides that, I believe life after death is going to be great so dying isn’t actually all that bad.

When my friend was going through treatment for breast cancer I asked her how she was doing. 
"I'm doing fine," she said. "This treatment is awful but I figure if it doesn't work and I die, I'll be able to be with Pete (her husband who had died unexpectedly at an early age) and if I live I'll be able to be stay here with my children and grandchildren for a few more years.  Either way, I trust that what ever happens is in God's hands, that I'm loved and everything will work our for the best."

A little natural fear is normal; without it we wouldn’t need courage. On the other hand, paralyzing fear is and always will be a fatal disease of the heart for it signals the end of faith. Fear and negativity take up so much room in our heart there is no space for anything else.


I used to have preconceived ideas about how events and people in my life were supposed to turn out. I always worried that things wouldn't work out the way I wanted. Yet life always has a way of teaching us that we are not in charge. The only control we have is how we respond to the the things that happen to us.
Now I choose to wake up, think positive thoughts, do my best that day, learn from what happens then leave the rest in God’s hands. It is amazing how much better I feel.

“Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong.”(D&C 121: 45)

Positive Thinking Takes Practice

If you want the power of positive thinking to be a permanent part of your life you have to practice.  Whenever a fearful, negative or hateful thought enters your mind, replace it with a positive, hopeful or loving one. For example: hateful thought, I’m fat and ugly - replace with loving thought, I am a precious son or daughter of God. Fearful thought, I can’t do that. I’m not smart enough - replace with hopeful thought, I can do that. I can work hard and never give up. Negative thought, Why don’t they like me? There must be something wrong with me, replace with positive thought, I am lovable. There are healthy people waiting for my love.


Do you often feel like a failure? Check your thoughts. Thoughts of failure lead to feelings of failure that lead to actions that guarantee failure. Are you usually in a bad mood? Check your thoughts. Our thoughts are the authors of our moods. We choose to be in a good mood or a bad mood. Do you feel connected to other people? Check your thoughts. When we have a hard time connecting with others it may be because we are secretly harboring negative thoughts about them.

The way we think about our life is always more powerful than our actual circumstances. Circumstances don’t make us who we are, they reveal who we are. Obsessive worrying gets us in trouble. It is not always all the things that go wrong that drive us crazy; it is obsessively thinking about all the things that go wrong that drives us crazy. For example, one mother told me she was constantly worried and anxious about her troubled children. Then one day it dawned on her that if she could only be as happy as her most unhappy child, she’d have to be sad her whole life. She mentally separated her desire to nurture and love her children and her bad habit of mirroring their bad moods or being depressed about their poor life choices.

Words are powerful. What words would you describe yourself?  Do you use words like brave, teachable, grateful, optimistic, loving, curious or generous? Or do you use words like pathetic, incompetent, fat, ugly, scared or inept?  If we entertain negative thoughts about ourselves we probably entertain negative thoughts about others.  It is possible to change this negative way of thinking.  How?

First, make a life-long commitment to weed out all your negative, fearful and hateful thoughts.  As you practice controlling our thoughts, you’ll gradually create new pathways or connections in your brain. The greater your awareness and commitment, the quicker your mind will go to the positive, courageous or loving thought until you have effectively rewired your brain.

Second, understand that rehashing all our problems accomplishes only one thing – keeping us mentally stuck. We can literally make ourselves sick by the thoughts we think. What is your response when you are offended, misunderstood, treated unfairly, accused wrongly, passed over, hurt, rejected or abused? The nature of that response will determine the quality of your life.  So choose wisely.

Third, realize that the way you act begins with how you think.  If you don’t like the way you act, you need to go back and take a look at your thoughts.  Thoughts always preceed actions.

So give it a try.  Just for today - make a committment to be aware of your thoughts.  Whenever a negative, fearful or hateful thoughts comes to mind, replace it quickly with a positive, loving or hopeful thought.  If you want to have a happy life you have to have happy thoughts.  The choice is yours.

Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life!

Scientists have discovered we often respond to a placebo as well as a drug during clinical trials. Why? Because the patient thinks he or she has been given the drug. By the power of his thoughts or expectations, the effect is produced with or without the drug. In effect, our thoughts become our realities. Though we can’t control what thought enters our mind, we can control whether or not it stays there. The power to quickly change our thoughts is perhaps the most life-altering power we possess. The commitment to allow only positive, courageous and loving thoughts to remain in our mind takes consistent awareness, practice and determination or we’ll fall back into old negative habits.


I once sat in a class where an instructor, who had studied the human brain all his life, told us that when we have a negative, fearful or hateful thought we immediately lose 30 IQ points. Translation: we get instantly dumb. He told us recent studies indicated that negative, fearful and hateful thoughts cause us to operate from the primitive portions of our brain. On the other hand, he told us positive, hopeful and loving thoughts originate from the portion of our brain that allows us to use our higher level thinking and reasoning skills. In other words, when we are having negative, fearful or hateful thoughts we would be wise to replace them quickly before we do something really stupid.

For example, once while I was loading dirty laundry into the washing machine, my husband walked up behind me and said, “Jan, if water starts squirting everywhere, turn this knob.” Then he carefully demonstrated where and how to turn off the water. Well, several months later I was at the kitchen sink washing dishes when water suddenly sprayed everywhere. I was startled and scared. I immediately ran over to the washing machine, reached up and turned the knob. Yet when I turned back and looked into the kitchen, water was still squirting everywhere. Because I was scared, I was not using my higher level thinking skills. I told myself to calm down and take deep breath.

Let’s see, I thought. If I can turn off the water with a knob next to the washing machine, maybe there is a knob next to the kitchen sink.

I walked back into the kitchen, opened the cabinet below the sink and sure enough, there was a knob attached to a pipe down there. I reached inside and turned it. It worked! The water quit squirting. I was so proud of myself.

Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life!