Words of Wisdom for the Overwhelmed

You don't have to be wise or wonderful

all the time. 

You don't have to know

all the answers

or 

always do the right thing. 

You don't have to be strong

all the time. 

You just have to

pray.
Then you will know 
you are enough
just as you are
and
you are loved.
                                               
                                                
                                                   
                                            
                                         
                                 
                                    

Loving Our Children

 

Your children existed

before they came to you. 

God will give you glimpses

 into your children's soul

 if you ask. 

The greatest truths

 you'll ever receive

will happen

when you look deep

into your child's eyes

then ask God 

to tell you

 who they are

 and

how to love them.

Taking Time for the People Who Matter Most



Finding time for our children really matters  These daily rituals add lots of love to a busy family routine.


*Create Memorable Mealtimes

Families who commit to eating at least one meal together soon discover the benefits that come from creating a golden family hour each day. This hour is time set aside exclusively for the family. It helps to set aside a specific time every day and eliminate as many distractions as possible by turning off the television, computer and telephones. Community, school, career and church activities are numerous and will encroach on family time if not carefully selected.

A golden hour might include:

Preparing a meal together

Saying a prayer

Eating together

Reading a chapter from a good book/talking about the day's activities/singing a song

Doing the dishes together

Helping with homework/going for a walk/throwing a baseball/playing a board game.


* Make Homecomings and Departures a "Touching" Event

Everyone likes to be noticed, appreciated and loved. It only takes a few seconds for parents to make every homecoming and departure a little more warm and fuzzy for their children. Don't hold back. Be warm and affectionate when your child leaves or come back home.
Parents can:

Kiss

Hug

Make a positive comment - "I believe in you!" "Make it a good day." "I'm so glad you're home!" "I missed you today."

Wave from the window

Blow kisses

Smile

Say "I love you."

* Utilize Transport Time

Most parents and children spend part of their day in their car going and coming from a multitude of activities like school, lessons and activities. Parents can put this time to better use by recognizing car time as a great time for positive personal parent/child interaction.

Parents can:Turn off cell phones/radio/stereo

Be truly present

Talk

Listen - Sometimes children open up best when they aren't looking straight at you

Create fun car games and a family goodbye honk

Invite one child at a time to accompany you on routine errands


* Establish Pleasurable Bed Time Routines


Bedtime routines can be painful and stressful if rushed or forced. It only takes a few extra minutes to have positive personal time with each child each night.

Parents can:

Stagger bedtimes for each child so they have individual time and avoid interruptions

Read books

Tell original adventure tales starring the child

Take a few minutes to carefully tuck the child in bed

Ask: "What was one good thing that happened today?"

"What was one thing that was not so good?"

Sing a lullaby

Pray

Stroke the child's forehead

Say I love you

Rub noses/kiss/hug

Children who have been loved know how to love. Daily loving rituals don't take more time or money; they only require that parents re-order their lives so that they have unhurried time for the people who matter most.

Replacing Negative Thoughts

Positive thinking brings us more joy.

There is a way to develop the art of positive thinking.  Since we can only think one thought at a time . . . we need to replace all negative, fearful and and unloving thoughts with positive, hopeful and loving thoughts.  We can't always control what thought enters our head but we can control if it stays there.  It takes practice to change the way we think.  Here are some ways to practice:

* Make a firm personal commitment to replace ALL negative, fearful and unloving thoughts with thoughts that are positive, courageous and loving.
* Regularly post meaningful quotations in a place you frequent that motivates you to better thoughts.
* Write a letter to someone detailing several admirable qualities you've noticed in them.
* Fill your mind with beauty and enlightenment by reading good books and supporting the local arts.
* Avoid people who are "hateaholics," "negaholics," and "fearaholics."
* Force yourself to find something good in every stressful situation.
* Make a list of your positive qualities so you have a handy script to refer to when you have negative thoughts about yourself.
* Dare to do something you've always wanted to do but were too afraid to try.
* Practice the art of horriblization.  This means you take every negative or fearful to the worst case conclusion . . . death.  Then laugh at yourself. 
* Whenever you feel less than, scared, lonely, grouchy or mean go back and see what thought came before that emotion.  Change the thought and see if it changes the way you feel.

The Rush to Judgment

author Markus Zusak

When we rush to judgment about any group of people we always make incorrect assumptions.  One group of people I have judged harshly in the past is the German people during World War II.  "What kind of people would go along with all that Hitler insanity and cruelty?"

Recently I read a book that required me to re-evaluate my thinking.  "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak was not a book I wanted to read.  I've read a lot about this period of time and felt like I had a good grasp about what happened.  I had decided who were the good guys and who were the bad guys.  Even after the first twenty or thirty pages I was not going to finish this book.  It was just too hard.  But each time I put it down, I had to pick it up again.  I am a different person because I finished this book.  I speed read a lot of books but I had to read this book slowly . . . every word.  For the author had some important morsel on every page.

Raw, difficult to read but life changing.

 

Choosing to Love in a Loved Starved World

February is the month we celebrate Valentines Day.  Just today someone told me that they hate Valentines Day because it makes them feel alone and unloved.  I wonder if feelings of being alone and unloved come when we depend on others to fill our love cup.


We don’t have to be disillusioned when we don’t get the love we want from others. The only thing we have any control over is the quality of love we offer.

Too often we find ourselves holding back love, afraid of being hurt – giving only to get - sharing love only when we feel love coming back. Our hearts will keep getting smaller and the world will keep getting colder when we live that way. 

Love won’t fail us as long as we give it. When we choose to love, we live in a warm inner world of appreciation, gratitude and affection.

There is nothing more important to do with our lives than love someone.

Ultimately every sacrifice we make for another human being contains our life’s greatest meaning – every choice to love, our life’s greatest purpose.

Red Roses Bring Back Memories

Thirty-eight years ago I was a young nineteen year old woman in love with a handsome young man who had just left for a two-year mission to Samoa.

I was genuinely happy that this young man wanted to serve God by spreading the good news of the gospel.  Yet when I returned home alone that night after our goodbyes, it hit me . . . two years is a long time.  I walked downstairs to my bedroom.  Then I sat on my bed and cried.

Just then I heard the door-bell ring.  I wiped my eyes and walked upstairs.  When I opened my front door, there was a floral delivery guy holding a dozen red roses addressed to me from my sweetheart.  Something about that gesture touched me so deeply.  Ross had thought ahead about how I might be feeling just at that moment. 

So I cried some more. 

Today I opened the door and there was my sweetheart . . . holding the red roses for me in his arms. 

Yes.  It all worked out and we got married after he returned home from his mission.  But that night when I was nineteen, I didn't know what was going to happen and I had to live on hope.  Red roses always take me back to that tender moment.

Now, ten  children and 22 grandchildren later, nothing delights me more than seeing my sweetheart walk through the front door with his arms full of red roses. 

Ross - having you in my life is like having Valentines Day every day of the year.

I love you. 
Jan

Celebrating Motherhood




All the special women in Amy's life gather to celebrate mothering

My daughter Amy in about to become a brand new mother.
How I love her and wish her well on her journey.

 Today we held a meaningful celebration of mothering.  Our special guest of honor was my daughter Amy.  There was good food and good conversation.  Why did we meet?  Because a brand new baby girl named Tessa is about to be born . . . and so is a brand new mother.  So we celebrated both . . . a new mother and a new baby.  We created a paper chain where we each wrote down something we love about Amy that will help her in her new journey as a mother.  Then as she opened each present from her guests, the gift giver told Amy one thing she loved about being a mother or having a mother.  

Happy 3rd Birthday Emma

The last time I saw my granddaughter Emma, she took me by the hand and excitedly showed me her new toothbrush.  She was so excited about it, she held it up, twirled around and leaped through the air to show me her pleasure.  I couldn't remember the last time I was that excited about a new toothbrush.  Emma taught her grandma that there is magic in simple things that we take for granted every day.  So in case you are wondering . . . that is why I just had to write Emma this short story and poem for her 3rd birthday.

Emma and the Magic Toothbrush

By Grandma Baadsgaard (alias Granny B)

Once upon there was a little girl named Emma who had a magic toothbrush. When most people brush their teeth, they get clean teeth. But when Emma brushed her teeth she turned in to the Mighty Pink Princess of Everything.

One afternoon after playing with her toys in her bedroom for an hour, Emma ran into the bathroom and grabbed her toothbrush. Then she ran around the house waving her toothbrush in the air.

Emma’s mother saw her and said, “Emma, you need to go back in your bedroom and pick up your toys and put them away now.”

“I am the Mighty Pink Princess of everything,” Emma answered. “I don’t have to pick up toys.”

“Oh is that right?” Emma’s mother said.

“Well I’m the queen of everything and I say you need to pick up your toys right now young lady.”

Emma scrunched her eyebrows and frowned. Then she pointed her magic toothbrush at her mother and said, “Disappear!”

“You need a time out in your bedroom,” her mother said. “You can come out when you have your room cleaned up young lady.”

Emma went to her room. She waved the magic toothbrush in the air. When she looked down and noticed she was dressed in a sparkly pink dress and a pair of sparkly pink shoes.

“I am the princess of everything and I don’t pick up toys!” Emma said.

Then she danced on the floor. Then she jumped on her bed.

That’s when Emma’s Dad opened the door to her room.

“Look at this mess,” he said. “Emma you need to clean up your toys.”

Emma scrunched her eyebrows down and frowned.

“I am the princess of everything,” Emma said. “I don’t have to pick up toys.”

“Well I’m the king of everything and I say you need to pick up your toys right now you little rascal.”

Emma pointed her magic toothbrush at her father, “Disappear!”

“I can manage that,” her father said disappearing behind the door. “You can come out when you room is clean.”

“I am the princess of everything,” Emma said pointing her toothbrush at her toys. “Disappear.”

Suddenly the walls in Emma’s room turned into a large pink dining hall in a huge pink castle. There were long pink curtains at all the windows and glistening pink chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Emma sat down at a long table with a pink tablecloth and flickering pink candles. She chose Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Barbie and Baby for her dinner guests. They ate pink cake, drank pink sparkling cider and had pick pickles for dessert. Then Emma got a tummy ache. She was tired or pink castles, cider and pickles.

Emma sat down on the floor and put her head in her hands. Then she scrunched her lips and rolled her eyes. Suddenly she stood up and bravely waved her magic toothbrush in the air.

“I am the princess of everything,” Emma said, “and I am going to pick up my toys now.” And she did.

Ala ka zab

and razzle dee-doo

Emma’s new toothbrush

Can make magic foo.

In Tinker Bell jammies

and breathing a sigh

this magic toothbrush

catches stars going by

If you jump on your bed

and hold it just right

this toothbrush will gather

new dreams out of sight

“Put that toothbrush away

or it will get covered with germs!”

her mother and father

spout with concern.

But Emma, who knows power

and razzle-dee-daz,

keeps waving her toothbrush

to bring in pazaz

While parents are skeptics,

children all know

there is magic in small things

if you love them jut so.

Children - God's Greatest Gifts

With my sweetheart and my new grandson Liam

I used to wonder why older couples were always telling me to enjoy my children while they were home because before long they’d be gone. I thought those people were senile and just forgot all the hard parts. I knew being a mother was exhausting and figured old people could afford to be sentimental because they didn’t have to deal with the day to day mess and stress of life with small children any more.

It didn’t occur to me that those wiser parents had already experienced what I was going through and actually missed it when it was over.


When we’re young parents and can’t see the end from the beginning, the ability to have children is often taken so casually. We have no idea that loving or not loving this child will affect thousands of people for generations. We don’t understand what we’ve been given. Mostly we see what we seem to be giving up.
Yet, as the years go by, we realize that our opportunity to love a child is God’s greatest gift to us.

Once I read about the last hours of a famous author. On his deathbed a reporter asked him if he was content surrounded by all the prize-winning books he’d written. The author turned to the reporter and replied that if he had it to do over again, each one of those books would be a dearly loved child and grandchild.

Today I am surrounded by dearly loved children and grandchildren.  I am not famous and I have not written a prize winning book.  But this I know . . . this man knew what he was talking about.  At the end of our life it does not matter so much what we have done  . . . but who we have loved.

Family Pictures

Notice the intelligent look by the person on the bottom left.

Whenever my husband and I try to take a family pictures there is always ONE person who just can't help themselves.  They have to go cross-eyed or pull a funny face.  Does anyone else have this problem? 


John is 14

My son John is 14 today.


Some of the things I enjoy most about John's are:

John working on his latest project.

* John is an active learner.  He works hard to earn straight A's in school.  But more important he is curious, hard working and creates interesting new projects.



* John shares his love of music.  Right now he is playing the bass in an orchestra, teaching piano lessons and learning to play the guitar.

John in the orchestra

*  John is kind.  He notices the person who is left out or made fun of at school and makes that person his friend.

*  John shows his love for his family.  He is always doing kind acts of service for his parents and siblings. 

John is the favorite uncle.

* John is great with children.  He loves his nephews and nieces and they look forward to coming to our home because John is here.

*John gives the best hugs.  If you get a John hug - you know you are loved.














* John has a great sense of humor.  He always keeps me laughing.

John dressed for nerd day at school

*John is honest.  I can always count on an honest account or opinion.

*John is dependable.  If John says he will do something - he does it.

* John is a great communicator.  John can express himself with ease.

*John has courage.  John is not afraid to try new and challenging things.  He has a great sense of humor and is not afraid to stand our from the crowd.

John spreading sunshine

Brother Love



Jacob didn't miss a thing on his older brother's wedding day.

Joseph surrounded by all this brothers and sisters at his wedding.  See if you can tell which one is Jacob.

When my son Joseph got married his younger brother Jacob was serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Bolivia.  Joseph and Jacob were born only 18 months apart and grew up together.  They did everything together. 

Jacob left for his mission before Joseph got home from his mission to Montreal Canada.  That meant that they would be apart for almost 4 years.  They really missed each other.

Because Joseph didn't want to leave Jacob out of his wedding, he made a life-size cardboard guy with Jacob's face and dressed him in real clothes.  On his wedding day we took "Jacob" everywhere with us so he didn't have to miss a thing.