Poem for a Fourteen-year 0ld

Grandma Baadsgaard
Happy Birthday Matthew. You are awesome!

I’m not a boy.
I’m not a man.
Will someone please tell me
Who I am?

Food stuck in my braces
When I smile -
Teacher with a whistle
Makes me run the mile.

“Change your underwear.”
Says Mom with that look
But I frankly don’t I care
If I smell like fish on a hook

“Comb your hair, brush your teeth
Take a bath would you please
Practice piano, clean you room,
Or my patience is going to leave.”

Homework and locker combinations
Assemblies, recitals and tests
Gives me days at junior high
Without a moment to rest.

All the girls my age
Look two years older than me
How am I supposed to impress them
When all they see . . .  

My pants turn into floods
Whenever I turn around.
My voice seems to crack
Whenever I make a sound.

 Older brothers stare
Younger brother tease
When will this annoyance
Ever, ever cease?

Too old for Halloween
Not old enough to drive
How in the world
Am I supposed to survive?

Junior High is full of
 Jocks, nerds and bores
I just don’t know how
I’m supposed to soar.

Maybe I’ll just relax
And just practice being me
Cause when all is said and done
I’m content to be

Matthew the magnificent
Matthew the brave
Matthew the courageous
With a sense of humor to save

Late night video games
Lying in my hammock to sleep
Sneaking treats from the pantry
Is all I really need.

Who says you need
Nutritious food to survive
Mac and cheese serves me well
That’s all I need to thrive

You say I need
 Proper vitamins to grow.
I say life is too short to skimp on candy
When your blood sugars get low.

Someday I’ll be the dad
And surely I will say
“Stop doing that!” to my son
But today is not that day.