WINKING Is A Secret Code For Love

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other. We wink.

For example, when one of us is about... to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

When my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he was always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”
Caleb had one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. He was a medical miracle. The doctors said he couldn’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who knew and loved Caleb understood he had his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.
After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating went on.
We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he had with each of us was truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.
Caleb’s older brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”
Sometimes the only intervention that could get Caleb’s heart rate up was when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawled in his crib, hugged him and sang, “I am a Child of God.”

Caleb's life mattered.

People in my daughter's neighborhood often knocked on her door and asked if they can spend time with Caleb. Why? Being with Caleb gave people peace and joy. Every time I was with Caleb I felt a little closer to heaven. In a busy world Caleb invited us to slow down and listen. Caleb communicated soul to soul. You couldn't hear what he had to say if you don't stop and listen with your heart.

Caleb was our "wink" from heaven. Our family's tradition of winking at each other to show our love, appreciation and confidence is now spreading around the world. Please join us in our effort to keep Caleb's mission alive. Even though Caleb was never able to utter a single word he taught us all how to love.
So the next time you're having a bad day, remember Caleb and our family's secret code. Then look in the mirror or at the next person you meet . . . and "wink". You are loved. You are wonderful. You can do it.
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