"HEALING FROM ABUSE" book by Janene Baadsgaard is an answer to prayer

Here is a letter I received from a reader about her experience with abuse in her marriage.
"Two days ago, I left my counselors office and went to Deseret Book, in hopes of finding a book that could help to bring me comfort. I have been searching Church bookstores for more than twenty years, hoping to find a book on verbal and emotional abuse. For 36 years, I have known that things were not right, but the only sources I could find in the church discussed not being so selfish and trying harder to make my spouse happier. Because of those books and articles, I essencially gave away every right to love and respect, let him do whatever he wanted, never voiced an opinion, convinced that I was the problem. He grasped upon this newfound sense of control and raged forward to crush my spirit, while trying to raise his own sense of selfworth. As I lay curled up on a bed in fetal position last December, after an hour of being yelled at, accused, condemned, told that I was the cause of all that was wrong, I prayed throughout the whole night for the Lord to take me home. As it continued the next day, the Spirit came upon me, and in a feeling of warmth and peace, I knew that the time to leave had come. However, even in doing so, I have been plagued with a sense of failure and wondering if I will ultimately be condemned for leaving a marriage that was sealed in the temple. Was I giving away every blessing and chance that I had for the Celestial Kingdom by filing for a divorce? Maybe I was really a sick person and did not know it! Was I just not willing to look at what a horrible person I had become? Could it be that “I” was in denial, and not my husband? Was “I” the problem? My husband affirmed that the answers to these questions was “yes”.
My counselor began to help me see what was really happening at home, and that the answer to these questions was actually a resounding “NO”. I began to feel that I was doing the right thing by leaving, in spite of my grown children’s protests. I gained strength and confidence. But the questions about the eternal consequences I might face continued to plague me. For weeks I had prayed to have some answers….I prayed that there might be a book to help me and answer my questions, so that I could feel the peace I so desparately wanted. The next day, I went to Deseret Book and felt prompted to buy your book. Thank you so much! Your descriptions of the abuser and the abused describe so perfectly the life that I have led for 36 years. The scriptures and quotes from prophets and apostles, along with the explainations and interpretations of their meaning have helped to give me a sense of peace and purpose that I have never possessed. Realizing that by leaving, I am stopping the abuse and am actually helping HIM to not further condemn himself, is a huge help. Thank you so much…..my only wish is that your book had been available 30 years ago, when I searching for such answers back then! I am finally , beginning to look forward to the rest of my life."


shirlgirl said...

I can't even imagine living in a home for 36 years and being battered to the ground as this person was. I would have been out of there in a flash. Our Lord did not put us on this earth to be abused in any way, shape, or form. He wants us to love and be loved and cared for, not tossed around like a piece of garbage. No one should have to live under the conditions that she has lived under for 36 years--probably more than half of her life. And shame on her husband who definitely needs a lot of psychological help. He probably grew up in an abusive home and figured it was o.k. to do this, I don't know. More power to this woman, and may she find peace in the fact that she has done the right thing to save her own life.

Janene Baadsgaard said...

Way to say it Shirley.